I never told you
by puckleberrys
Summary: Puck and Rachel are bestfriends. But after a freak accident will one of them finally admit to their true feelings?  WARNING: Character death. Review!
1. Necklace

**Very first PuckleBerry fanfic, go easy on me!**

**Just a warning, there is a main character death, and you will probably hate me for it, but just keep reading, it is a lovely short story that just popped into my mind and I think you guys will enjoy it. **

**Anyways just review and let me know if I should continue.**

**Im also open to many suggestions!**

**Follow me on twitter: LittleMsCutie12**

Everyone in the city of Lima, Ohio was well aware of the fact that Rachel Berry was a Diva.  
The short brunette was very...enthusiastic was one way you could put it.

She won her very first dance competition when she was 3 months old, which everyone thought was completely insane, as well as her first singing competition when she was nearing the age of 2.

Even now, at seventeen years old she was well near perfection.  
The starlet would wake up every day at 6:00 AM sharp, to her iPod blasting songs from her favourite musicals, or her idol ' Barbra Streisand'. She would immediately spend 45 minutes exercising on her elliptical, because she believed that a good breakfast and a workout was the key to perfect health.

Rachel posted a MySpace video of herself singing every night at 8:00OM. Although the comments were usually along the lines of "do us all a favour and get sterilized" or "nose job" Rachel knew that one day someone would see her for the way she was, and recognize her true talents.

Rachel of course, was the star of Glee club.  
The club had started out with Will Schuester, the Spanish teacher who wanted to relive his glory days and restart the club. He held auditions which ended with the club consisting of 5 members. Rachel Berry, Mercedes Jones, Kurt Hummel, Tina Cohen-Chang and Artie Abrams.

Soon after, Finn Hudson joined. He was the main part of Rachel's attractions for well over a year, until she finally decided to just give up, she didn't feel the same things she felt when she first saw him, now they were best friends and almost inseparable.

Noah Puckermann, Matt Rutherford, and Mike Chang joined next, followed by Quinn Fabray, Brittany Pierce, and Santana Lopez. The Cheerio's at first, only joined Glee club so that they could sabotage Rachel and be Sue Sylvester's spies, but that eased off quickly, once they learned that they could really love the club.

It was now almost 2 years since the tiny audition room, and everything had been great.

Tina and Mike were in a relationship for a year but that soon ended after Tina decided to give things a try with Artie again. Everyone loved Mike but they were also glad on the change seeing as Tina and Mike were both Asian and had the same last name.  
Sam Evans, a boy that had recently transferred was dating Quinn Fabray, which no one took a shock because he took Finn's spot as the quarterback and Quinn was the head cheerleader.

Finn had taken that relationship a little harshly, seeing as his feelings for Quinn never really ended.  
Kurt had transferred to Dalton Academy for a few months, trying to get a new start after being harassed by David Karofsky, but he soon returned with another new kid, his boyfriend Blaine Anderson.

With their second Regional's competition on its way, Puck decided to throw a party on Friday night for the Glee clubbers.

**xoxoxoxooxoxo**

Rachel Berry pulled the collar of her coat, closer to her face as her feet moved at a steady pace.  
She soon came to face a big white door.

She could already hear the music blaring from inside the Puckermann residents.

The diva knocked furiously on the door, hoping to escape the cold January night.

The door opened to reveal a pouty looking Puck. Rachel couldn't help but smile. After her recent development in friendship with Finn, she found herself growing fonder of Puck. The three of them spent almost every weekend together.

When he saw who was at the door, his face immediately brightened. He grabbed her arm, and literally twirled her into the house, shutting the door behind her.

He looked at her with a warm smiling face. "Rach" he greeted.

She couldn't help the blush that rode onto her face. "Hello Noah" she replied.

They both stood there staring at each other for a few minutes before they both went to make a move.  
Puck put his arms around her waist, and pulled her into a tight hug.

Rachel loved the way his muscular arms made her feel protected, she slipped her arms around his neck and returned the hug.  
When they pulled away they both had huge grins on their faces.

"Come on Jew-babe everyone is waiting downstairs" he announced, and pulled her towards the stairs.  
Rachel quickly rolled her eyes at the nickname. Seeing as they were both Jewish, Noah insisted on calling her 'Jew-babe'.

**xoxoxoxooxoxo**

Once they made it downstairs, Rachel took in the sight before her.

The music was blasting hip hop songs, while Matt and Mike stood in the middle of the room doing the 'Pop N' Lock'.  
(After seeing the boy's do that dance a numerous amount of times, Rachel still never understood it.)

Mercedes was standing a few feet away from the boys cheering with Tina, who was sitting on Artie's lap while the small boy wheeled them around in circles.

Kurt stood in the corner, having a brief conversation with Blaine, while both boys had huge beaming smiles on their faces.  
From a few feet away Rachel could barely hear what they were saying.  
Probably something about what facial products they use before bed, or what their favourite magazines are.

Surely enough, Brittany and Santana were both sitting on Puck's reclining chair, in a heated make out session.  
It had been a few months since the girls had gone public, although everyone knew since Elementary School the two were basically glued to the hip, and most definitely more than friends.

Rachel's eyes fell on Finn.  
The poor boy was sitting by himself on the couch beside Noah's computer.

She let go of Puck's arm and ran over to the tall boy, and threw her arms around him from behind.

He tensed at first, but once he caught a wiff of her perfume he relaxed, and smiled.  
"Hey Rach" he said.

She returned his smile. "Well hello Mr. Hudson why might you be sitting all by your lonesome?" she asked.

Puck walked over and smirked. "Stop being a girl Finn, go join Mike and Matt I'm sure they would love to see your attempt at doing the Pop N' Lock" he said, laughing.

Finn glared at him. "I'd like to say the same to you" he spat back.

Almost immediately after, both boys burst into laughter, and Puck threw his arm around Finn pulling him into a headlock.

Rachel sat down in the chair Finn was once seated in and huffed.  
"Boys" she said rolling her eyes.

Puck let go of Finn and took the seat beside her. "Babe, don't hate, besides you love us were adorable" he said.

At the exact same time the boys gave her identical beaming smiles.

She couldn't help the smile that broke out on her face.  
She reached over and used one hand to pinch Noah's cheek, and the other to pinch Finn's.

"Okay, I guess you guys are pretty adorable" she said, laughing.

Finn nudged Puck.  
"Hear that Pucky boy? At least someone thinks were cute" he said, slurring his words which he had obviously been trying to hide.

Rachel gasped. "Finn, have you been drinking?" she asked.

His eyes widened."Nope" he said, 2 seconds too quick.

Rachel glared at him. "Give me your cup" she demanded.

He stood up and took a step backwards. "No that's okay Rach, but maybe you should get your own" he said winking.

Rachel narrowed her eyes into an even longer scowl.  
"Finn Hudson, this is not a joking matter, now I will not ask you again. You either give me that cup or I take it for you, take your pick" she warned.

"Ouu, you're in trouble" Puck said from behind them which distracted Finn.  
She lunged forward and grabbed the cup from his hand, spilling it on the floor slightly.

It was quite the surprise for Finn, he hadn't been expecting that and besides, Rachel was short and very fast so it was hard for him to keep track of where she was.

The diva lifted the cup to her nose and inhaled, almost instantly pulling it as far away from her face as possible while making a sour face.  
"Yup, you've been drinking". She announced.

He frowned. "Fine I promise I will not have one more drink for the entire night" he told her sincerely.

She smiled in victory.

Finn's frown was replaced by a devilish smirk. "BUT, only if you have a drink" he stated.

Her eyes widened, and her face fell. "No way Finn, I am not an alcohol drinking sleaze, besides if I drink I will most likely either wake up in a ditch somewhere with my virginity gone, or in Noah's bed" she announced.

A light flashed in Puck's eyes and right as he was about to open his mouth, Rachel raised a finger.  
"No" she exclaimed.

Finn put his drink on the table in defeat. "You, Rachel Berry, are a party pooper" he whined.

She rolled her eyes. "Party pooper? Really Finn, are you five?" she asked.

Puck moved beside her. "Actually Rach, I think he just turned 6" he said, and the two burst out laughing.

Finn crossed his arms and pouted.  
"No fair, 2 against 1" he whined.

Rachel grinned. "Face it Finn, it's always 2 against 1, Noah and I just make a great team" she stated, putting her hands on her hips.

Finn glared at them. "Fine".

Puck's eyes immediately twinkled. "OH, I forgot, you have to come with me" he said, grabbing her arm.

Rachel was caught off guard but she just let him pull her through the loud house.

Finally they reached his room and Noah had a huge smile on his face.  
Rachel furrowed her brows. "Noah, this isn't just some lame attempt to get me in your bed is it?" she asked.

Puck rolled his eyes. "Please, I'd rather not have a replay of Quinn, although I wish I had that good of pickup skills" he told her, pointing to his bed.

Without getting into an argument about Quinn, Rachel sat down on the edge of his bed, and waited.

Puck came back into the room with his hands behind his back, and his lips pursed.

Rachel raised an eyebrow.

"Look, I know your birthday was last week but my gift didn't arrive until this morning" he told her.  
He took his hands from behind his back and revealed a small long white box with a giant pink ribbon on it.

Rachel's lips tipped up into an adorable smile.  
"Noah, you didn't have to get me anything" she whispered.

He smiled and shook his head. "Yes I did, anyways you let Finn get you something without complaining" he stated.

Rachel chuckled. Y"es, but Finn got me a Taco Land hat and a 2 for 1 coupon" she said.

He gasped.  
"Rach, Taco Land has the best tacos in the entire world, do not even thinking about dissing it up" he said.

Rachel smiled, and slowly took the present from his hands.

Puck sat down on the bed beside her and watched her stare at the box. Puck loved the way she concentrated on things. He also especially loved when she would stare longingly at something and barely blink. He knew she was probably talking up a paragraph in her head right now.

He was beginning to feel impatient.  
"Well are you going to open it?" he asked.

She looked up at him and snapped out of her trance.  
"What? Oh yeah sorry" she muttered.

She smiled at the big pink bow before taking it off and sticking it to the end of his nose.  
She let out a giggle, while he just shook his head.

"I bet I look like a complete stud right now" he said.

She met his gaze and smiled.  
"Of course you do Noah".

Her fingers trailed carefully along the box, tracing the patterns before she took the top off.

She gasped at what she saw.

Slowly she took the beautiful object from the box and felt tears form in her eyes.  
He had gotten her a gold necklace with the Star of David on it.

She fumbled with it in her fingers before she turned to look at Puck with wide eyes.

"Noah" she breathed. "You really didn't have to get me this" she whispered, letting a tear fall freely down her cheek.

He took his thumb and swiped the tear away.  
"I wanted to" he insisted.

Her eyes sparkled and she leaned into the touch. "This is honestly the best present I have ever gotten in my life" she confessed.

Right then in that moment, he felt on top of the world.

She looked back down at the necklace then let her gaze fall on the amazing boy beside her.  
"Can you?" she asked, turning her back to him.

It took him a minute to process things but he picked up the necklace in his hand and smiled.

Slowly he lifted his hand to her exposed back, and let his finger trail along her shoulder blades.  
He carefully brushed her hair aside, sending shivers running through her whole body, and butterflies erupting in her stomach.

He felt his mouth go dry, when he saw how the light glowed on her.

He quickly put the necklace around her neck, and clasped the back.

The tanned boy, let his hands fall down her sides, and then laced their fingers together.  
She smiled, at him and she knew she was right where she was supposed to be.

**xoxoxoxooxoxo**

2 hours later Puck walked Rachel to the front door.  
"Did you have fun?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yes, I did enjoy us all getting together, but promise me I will never have to sit through two hours of Mike trying to sing Spice Girls ever again" she whispered.

He clutched his stomach and laughed.  
"Can't promise you that, babe".

Rachel smiled genuinely at him. "Thank you again for the necklace Noah, it means so much to me" she whispered, and slowly put it in her pocket.

She had insisted on taking it off for a while after Finn tried to grab onto it, when he thought it was a spider crawling on her.

A huge grin broke out on his face.  
"Anytime" he replied.

She looked at her cell phone and frowned. "Well I should get going, you know how my dad's get when I'm past curfew" she said.

He winced. "ah, papa Leroy and Papa Hiram" he said, chuckling.

She bit her lip and shook her head, trying to fight her smile.  
Her father's loved Finn and Puck, they were like sons to them.

He smiled. "Remember, my house tomorrow at 12" he reminded her.

She rolled her eyes. "Must you and Finn really drag me over here to watch you two play XBOX and talk about girls?" she asked.

He raised his eyebrows. "Yup it's been six months since we started doing this Jew-babe, it's what best friends do, and we distract Finn while he tries not to picture that" he said, pointing his thumb towards Quinn who was being pushed up against the counter by Sam, as they made out.

Rachel winced. "Good point".

He pulled her into a soft hug, gently lifting her off the ground.  
She sighed happily.

He knew he was pushing things but he didn't care. He put his lips to her ear and whispered. "You're beautiful Rachel".

When he pulled away her face was flushed, and she tucked a strand of her brown hair behind her ear nervously.

"Thank you Noah, I'll see you tomorrow" she said, barely above a whisper.

He opened the door for her, and smiled as she walked down the path towards her car.

Right as she was about to open the door, hazel eyes met brown.

They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, until she broke their gaze and smiled at him.

"Drive safe" he yelled.

She smiled at him. "always do" she replied.

Little did they know, tonight would be different.

**Review and tell me what you think!**


	2. Where are you?

**This chapter is basically Puck realizing that something is definitly not right, and that something is wrong while Finn is just being Finn.**

**This story isn't going to be too long just to warn you guys, and there will be a main character death, although I'm pretty sure you can figure out who that is already.**

**Review, and I'll update tomorrow, if not ill leave un- updating until you do review :D.**

The next morning Puck awoke to the scorching hot sun beating down on his bare back.  
His eyes fluttered open and he glanced at his clock. 11:30 AM.

"Shit" he muttered and jumped out of bed.  
Rachel and Finn would be arriving soon.

He quickly ran into the bathroom, grabbing a towel out of his closet on his way.

As soon as Puck stepped foot out of the bathroom he heard the doorbell ring.  
He groaned and threw on a pair of grey track pants.

His excitement grew as he skidded down the stairs, expecting to see Rachel's big brown eyes when he opened the door.

When the door flew open, of course he was faced with Finn who had a dumbfounded look on his face.

Immediately the Jewish boy's smile dropped.

Finn walked in and kicked off his shoes, before making his way towards the kitchen.

Puck followed him.  
"Where's Rach, why didn't you pick her up?" he asked.

Finn furrowed his brows.  
"I never pick up Rachel, she doesn't trust me driving her anywhere remember?" he asked.

Puck laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck. "Right, sorry" he said.  
He tried to shake it off.  
So why did he have such a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach?

**xoxoxoxoxo**

Both boys decided to play Xbox while they waited for the brunette.

Puck tossed his controller on the bed, and Finn literally growled at him.  
"You beat me again" he yelled.

Puck smirked. "Sure did".

Finn frowned. "Is this thing rigged?" he asked.

Puck huffed.  
"Nope, you just suck" he stated.

Finn rolled his eyes and checked his watch, the same exact watch he has had since he was 11. It was the camouflage watch his father had left him before he died.  
"It's 1:30 Rach said she would be here at 12" he told Puck.

The shorter boy frowned. "I know" he replied.

Finn shrugged. "Maybe she just didn't feel like coming" he suggested.

Puck bit the inside of his cheek.  
"She told me last night that she would be here, we were supposed to cheer you up" he whispered.

Finn put his hand on his chin in a thinking gesture.  
"Maybe her grandma and grandpa came down unexpectedly again" he stated.

Puck shuttered, reliving the memory.

**xoxoxoxoxox**

_The two boys and Rachel were sitting in Rachel's bedroom._

_It was a typical Wednesday night, they had stayed for dinner at the Berry's then went upstairs to help Rachel with her MySpace video like they always did. It had become some sort of ritual. On Saturday's Rachel would go to Puck's and listen to the two boys vent and whine, and on Wednesday's they would go over to the Berry's and help her with her video's._

_Rachel was in the middle of singing, Puck was playing guitar and Finn was filming the two of them when they heard the sound of a door closing._

_The brunette stopped dead halfway through her high note, and they waited, for any sound._  
_There was nothing._  
_Silence._

_Until they heard the noise of feet barrelling up the stairs. They had expected it to just be one of Rachel's fathers, coming to tell them a lame joke they had just heard, or offering them some sort of dessert, that was the usual, but oh boy were they wrong._

_Puck dropped and eyebrow and Rachel looked confused, while Finn had his normal blank look on his face._

_The bedroom door flew open, and in walked Rachel's grandparents._

_Rachel's grandmother Patty swayed her wide hips and stopped dead right in the middle of the doorway, causing Rachel's grandfather Jim, to crash into her backside._

_The diva's eyes grew wide. "What are you guys doing here?" she asked._

_Patty's eyes scanned the room, something flashed in them when her eyes fell on Finn and Puck._

_"Rachel Barbra Berry, why are these boys in your room?" she demanded._

_Rachel furrowed her brows._  
_"This is Noah Puckerman and Finn Hudson" she said pointing to the two boys._

_Her grandma glared at them._  
_"Rachel, why are there boys in your room?" Jim asked, this time._

_Rachel bit her lip."Every Wednesday they help me with my MySpace videos" she replied._

_Patty took a step forward, examining Puck who was sitting on the edge of Rachel's bed._  
_Puck took the time to notice that she had brown hair, the same colour as Rachel's with just a hint of grey in it. She didn't have very many wrinkles, only at the corner of her eyes, which he assumed from smiling although that was hard to believe at the time._

_Then her eyes flew over to Finn, who was standing awkwardly beside Rachel, still holding the camera in his hand._

_"Rachel, do not play dumb with me, I know exactly what you're doing" she said._

_Rachel's face scrunched together._  
_"I have no idea what you are talking about right now" she said, looking at Finn who just shrugged._

_Patty took another step towards them and lifted a finger in the air._  
_"Why would you do such a vulgar thing?" she asked._

_Okay now, Rachel, Puck and Finn were just downright confused._

_"Grandma Patty, I'm serious I have no idea what your trying to get at night now" Rachel whispered._

_Patty pursed her lips._  
_"You think you can go and make a porno, while your poor daddy's are downstairs, I thought that we raised you better Rachel!" she yelled._

_Rachel's mouth dropped open, Finn's brow dropped and Puck's eyes went wide as he tried not to picture the scene in his head._

_"Wh-what are you talking about? I am certainly not making pornography! That is disgusting, need I remind you that I am sixteen years old" Rachel yelled back._

_Jim took a step towards Puck, and glanced at the boy's sweater that was lying on the ground._  
_"Young man, were you going to take advantage of our grand daughter?" he asked._

_Puck's eyes went wider and he raised his hands in the air._  
_"No sir, I would never do that to Rachel" he explained._

_He moved on, and took a step towards Finn."What about you?" he asked._

_Finn opened and closed his mouth three times before finally speaking._  
_"I still have no idea what is going on right now" he admitted softly._

_Patty grabbed Finn by the ear, then Puck by the ear and pulled them towards the door. Rachel tried to swat her grandma's hands away from the boy's but was only held back by her grandpa._

_Rachel's grandma pulled them to the top of the stairs._  
_"You never come back here you hear me?" she yelled._

_Puck nodded, while Finn bit his lip a pain look on his face._

_"Good" she yelled, and gave them a shove._

_Puck ran down the stairs while Finn awkwardly tumbled down the steps._

_Rachel's dad's were standing in the kitchen with a confused look on their faces, knowing they were going to have to have this explained to them later, as the two boys raced past them and right through the front door, not bothering to shut it on their way out._

**xoxoxoxoxox**

Puck held back a laugh.  
"I remember that, I'm pretty sure you shit yourself" he snorted.

The tall boy scowled. "Did not" he replied.

Puck raised an eyebrow.  
"Oh really? I'm sure Rachel will have no problem re-telling the story with the exact same ending as mine, you with an expression saying: hello I'm Finn Hudson and I just pooped in my power rangers boxers" he said.

Finn rolled his eyes. "I do not have power ranger boxers" he yelled.

Puck raised an eyebrow and leaned over, giving Finn a wedgie.

Finn yelped and tried to push his underwear back into his pants.

"Exactly" Puck said pointing to the purple underwear that had power rangers covering it.

Finn looked towards the window and sighed.  
"Maybe we should call her" he suggested.

Puck took out his cell phone and dialled her number.

It rang a total of 8 times before the answering machine came on.  
He glanced at Finn and shook his head.

Finn frowned. "Try her house" he said.

Puck sighed. "That was her house" he responded.

Finn bit his lip. "She could be anywhere, maybe she just didn't feel like hanging out with us" he said.

Puck frowned, but only nodded his head.

Finn smirked. "Best two out of three?" he asked, nodding to the TV trying to lighten the mood.

Puck grinned.  
"You're on tough guy".

**xoxoxoxoxox**

After playing video games for half the day, Finn threw his controller at Puck in frustration.

Puck picked it up and cradled it like a baby. "Easy, she's delicate" he whispered.

Finn rolled his eyes.  
"Seriously, how could you have won every single round?" he asked.

Puck shrugged. "I'm just that good" he explained.

Finn shook his head.  
"Whatever dude, I'm going to head home now" he told him.

Puck nodded, and looked at his phone.  
No messages, no missed calls, nothing.

Finn patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry bro, we can go tomorrow and drag her out of the house" he said smiling.

Puck smiled back weakly. "Sure buddy".

**xoxoxoxoxox**

When Finn left, Puck went upstairs and crashed down onto his bed.

It was only 9:45 but he was pretty wiped out.  
He tugged his shirt and pants off, tossing them across the room, not bothering to care about where they landed or that his mom would yell at him for it in the morning.

He smiled and pulled out his phone, opening the text message screen.

_Hey Rach, we missed you today, text me back ASAP._  
_*Noah*_

**xoxoxoxoxox**

When Puck awoke he lazily opened his eyes, almost immediately jumping back in shock.

He definitely hadn't been expecting anyone to be standing over him, especially not his 10 year old sister.

"Jamie, what the hell are you doing in my room?" he growled.

She pointed a finger in his face.  
"I'm telling mom you swore" she announced.

He rolled his eyes.  
"Go ahead, but seriously what are you doing?" he repeated.

She smiled. "You're cute friend is at the door" she stated.

His heart leapt. "Rachel?" he asked.

She furrowed her brows.  
"No..Finn, the dumb one" she replied.

His smile fell.  
"Finn's here?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Did he say why?" he asked.

She nodded again.  
"He said something about dragging someone" she said.

Pucks smile returned as he remembered their conversation from the night before.

"What time is it?" he asked.

She looked at the clock above his head. "1:30".

He was surprised that he had slept in so late.

"Alright, tell Finn I'm showering and that I will be down soon" he told her.  
She nodded and skipped through the doorway.

**xoxoxoxoxox**

When Puck finished showering he threw on a pair of black jeans and grey sweatshirt before making his way downstairs.

He entered the living room to find Finn eating Pizza on his couch while his sister Jamie sat beside him, watching him like a hawk.

He rolled his eyes and stepped in front of them.  
"Jamie, leave Finn alone" he told her, but she didn't budge.

He sighed. "C'mon dude, let's go get Rachel" he said.

Finn nodded and shoved the rest of his pizza in his mouth.

Puck's sister scrunched her nose together.  
"Is that the girl you like?" she asked.

The Jewish boy actually blushed, and was very thankful when Finn was the one to answer, not so much of how he worded it though.

"Rachel is our _gro_" the tall boy stated.

Jamie looked confused. "You're what?".

Finn smiled at her. "_Gro_, girl bro, you're young you wouldn't understand" he announced and walked through the door.

Jamie glanced at Puck with furrowed brows.

Puck shrugged and mouthed "Don't ask" before following Finn out the door.

**xoxoxoxoxox**

About 15 minutes later they pulled up into the Berry driveway.  
Both cars were gone, which was strange since Rachel's parents never went out unless it was for work and they were off on Sunday's.

Finn sighed. "Doesn t look like they're home" he announced.

Puck nodded, but opened his door.  
"Let's go knock" he suggested.

Finn nodded, and followed his movements, stepping out of the blue sun fire.

When they got to the front door, Finn put his head to the window and glanced around the inside of the house.  
The lights were all off and there was no sound of singing like there usually was at Rachel's house.

Finn looked at Puck. "Do you think they will get mad that I'm looking in like this? They might think were pedophiles" he whispered.

Puck chuckled.  
"Are you kidding, they will see your huge head and automatically know it's you".

Finn glared at him but frowned.  
"I really don't think she is home" he said.

Puck rang the doorbell.  
No answer.

Finn leaned against the wall."Maybe her dads made her go visit her aunt and uncle out of town again?" he said.

"Yeah maybe" Puck replied, but he knew that he didn't believe it.

Finn started walking back towards the car.  
"Let's go get some pizza" he suggested.

Puck gave him a weird look. "Dude you just ate pizza" he reminded him.

Finn nodded "I know, and I'm still hungry".

Puck turned and looked up at Rachel's bedroom window, hoping to see the brunette's face smiling at them, but instead he saw the pink curtains with a huge gold star in the middle.

Finn smiled. "We will see her tomorrow" he said, convincingly.

Puck agreed.  
He tried to act like everything was perfectly fine. He knew that Rachel was probably just gone out with her parents, or working on her singing.

Except that gut feeling still never went away.

**Remember to review.**


	3. Something's wrong

**Here's the next chapter.**

**So tonight I got an amazing insperation for a new Puckleberry story from a youtube Video. Summary: Puck had feelings for Rachel, but after a frightening car crash, will Puck let her go before he can ruin her life more then he already has? angsty I know, I was thinking of doing it and I promise that Rachel wont die in this story.**

**Follow me on twitter: LittleMsCutie12.**

**Review's please and I will update faster!**

**Please don't kill me once you find out what happened to Rachel.**

When Puck woke up the next morning, he was almost positive it was going to be a rough day.

His alarm went off later than usual, and the minute he stepped in front of his mirror he noticed the heavy black bags under his eyes.

The Jewish boy lazily walked into the bathroom and hopped into the shower.  
He threw on his favourite black jeans and a plain black T-shirt before heading to school.

On the way to school, Puck made the decision to do a quick drive by of Rachel's house.  
He slowed his mother's Volvo out front of the Berry household and saw exactly what he had seen the day before.

There were no cars in the driveway, no open front door and no sign of lights on what so ever.

He sighed and tried to take his mind off of things as he drove the extra ten minutes to school, which clearly didn't work when he smiled and began to remember the first time he had ever met Rachel Berry, he had been 10 years old.

_Like always, Puck had been dragged along by his mother to one of her friend s stupid Jewish weddings, in which he hated so much._

_He always tried his hardest, using every excuse he could to ease his way out of accompanying his mother to the weddings but his mother would always say. "Noah, what would your father say if he saw you acting this way?" and of course, he would feel guilty and accept to go, although this time it had been different._

_He was sitting at the side of the room by himself, watching all the crazy adults laughing and dancing._

_He was completely bored and miserable until he felt a light tap on his shoulder._

_Puck spun around in his chair and came face to face with a short brunette._  
_He knew immediately that she was Jewish because of her large nose, which he thought matched her face perfectly._

_Her long dark brown hair fell heavily past her shoulders._  
_She was wearing a bright red dress, and gold shoes, which he had no idea why._

_She had the biggest smile on her face._  
_"Hello, I'm Rachel Berry" she said, extending her hand._

_He didn't take her hand, instead he just tilted his head upwards, giving her one quick nod._  
_"Noah Puckerman, but everyone calls me Puck" he responded._

_She frowned slightly. "It's a pleasure to meet you Noah"._

_That irritated him at first, he had just told her that he prefers to be called Puck and yet she still called him Noah._

_He dropped a brow._  
_"Why are you wearing gold shoes?" he asked._

_Her frown automatically turned into a full on beam. "Well Noah, I am glad you asked. My favourite thing in the entire world is gold stars, they are so beautiful and bright. Everyone at my school makes fun of me because I sign my name with a gold star sticker at all times, but it's a metaphor and metaphors are important" she exclaimed._

_He blinked at her a few times, before nodding and turning his attention back to the adults._

_He was hoping, and pretty sure she was gone until he heard a chair being pushed up beside him._

_Puck turned to see Rachel smiling at him shyly._

_"I never said you could sit here" he hissed._

_He saw the hurt flash in her eyes as she frowned. "Oh, alright sorry to bother you Noah" she whispered._

_He felt something right then and there that he had never felt in his life, not when he threw kids in dumpsters or slushied them._  
_He felt guilt._

_Right as she was about to turn away, he grasped her arm._  
_"If you promise to stop calling me Noah I'll let you stay" he said._

_The big bright smile, and the twinkle in her eye immediately returned._

_ that was the smile that he would never forget._

Once puck arrived at school he casually walked to his locker to find Finn standing at it awkwardly.

"Hey dude" Puck greeted him.

Finn smiled. " is holding an emergency Glee meeting at lunch".

Puck furrowed his brows.  
"Alright, any idea what it's about?" he asked.

Finn shook his head, and Puck glanced over at Rachel's locker, which had no short brunette in front of it.

"She's not here" Finn said, bringing him out of his thoughts.

Puck nodded and pursed his lips.  
"Where the hell is she dude, this is not like Rachel" he whispered.

Finn shrugged. "Don't worry bro, Rachel would never miss any classes, unless she got slushied" he said.

Puck's eyes widened.  
"I swear to god, if she got slushied" he warned.

Finn smirked. "I'm pretty sure we made it very clear to Karofsky what we would do if she did" he reminded him.

Puck nodded.  
"Let's go to first period".

As Puck sat in math class he couldn't take his eyes off the door. It was ten minutes into the first period and Rachel wasn't there yet. This wasn't like Rachel, in all the time that he had known the Diva he had never once seen her late for class.

He sighed and frowned, glancing around the room.  
At least he would be able to see her at lunch. There is no way in hell that Rachel would miss a Glee meeting, the club was her life, and she was the most committed person there.

His second period had been even worse, he sat there the whole time unable to get Rachel out of his mind. Everything about her made him happy, everything about her made him feel alive, and yet he was stuck with this feeling in his stomach, something was wrong.

Once he finally got to the choir room he stopped outside.  
This was it.

He was later then everyone else, so she had to be there.

Puck turned the doorknob and stepped into the small heated room.  
His eyes immediately scanned over the chairs.

Quinn and Sam sat at the top row with Santana and Brittany. Mike, Matt and Finn were all seated in the middle row, and Mercedes, Blaine, Kurt, Tina and Artie were all seated in the front row. But no Rachel, her seat was empty, just like his stomach.

He took his normal seat beside Finn and glanced at the chair beside him where Rachel usually sat.  
He peeled his eyes away to glance at Finn who was giving him a weak smile.

cleared his throat, and everyone glanced at him.  
His hair was jelled like usual and he wore once of his many sweater vests, although he wasn't smiling like he usually was.

"Hello guys, how has your day been?" he asked, his voice slightly cracking.

Mercedes was the one to speak.  
"Cut to the chase Mr.S, why did you call the emergency meeting?" she asked.

Santana glared at him. "Yeah Sue is going to kill you, we were supposed to be practicing for National's in the gym" she stated.

frowned. "I don't think she will mind to much this time" he whispered.

Finn frowned.  
"Mr.S where's Rachel?" he asked.

The older man's eyes flickered. "Well that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you guys about".

Quinn rolled her eyes.  
"Let me guess, she transferred to Carmel for that Jesse dude?" she asked.

Santana chuckled. "Maybe he egged her again" she said.

There were a few silent laughs, and a few glared sent back to the Latina.

cleared his throat once more before closing his eyes.

"Not exactly guys, I don't know how to tell you guys this but Rachel is-

**Hope you like the little cliffhanger, Review and let me kno what you think, should I continue tomorrow or let you suffer?**


	4. his heart broke

**Sorry I have been MIA for a little while, I have been pretty busy, but I'm here now!**

**Please Review :) I'm enjoying where this story is going.**

**This story isn't going to last long, probably not anymore then 10 chapters, but I promise I will make it worth it.!**

**I was thinking when I'm done this of still taking a break from my Faberry fic and writing another Puckleberry.**

**I wanted to write a story about how things would have ended up if Rachel were the one to get preggo with Puck's baby, will Puck realize his feelings for her before it's to late?**

**Let me know if I should do that ^.**

"Not exactly guys, I don't know how to tell you this but Rachel, she's um, Rachel is in the hospital" he said, in barely a whisper.

The room fell into uncomfortable silence.

The news hit Puck like a ton of bricks. Sure he knew that something was wrong but this hadn't even crossed his mind once. Rachel was in the hospital, _HIS_ Rachel was in the hospital. He couldn't help but think of all of the scenarios that could have happened.

Kurt was the first one to speak.  
"WH-what? Rach? Why is she in the hospital?" he asked.

frowned even more.  
"She uh, Rachel got into a pretty bad car accident" he whispered. "She isn't doing to good" he added, as tears prickled the back of his eyes.

Throughout the room, everyone had different looks on their faces.  
Tina and Mercedes both had their mouth's hanging open, Kurt had a hand pressed over his lips and his eyes were wide, Santana's mouth was pressed into a straight line as Brittany's hand was clutching hers tightly. Sam was frowning while Quinn surprisingly had a look of worry on her face.  
Mike and Matt both looked upset, while Finn had the look of pure anger on his face.

Puck sat perfectly still and stoned face, barely even blinking.

saw the looks on his student's faces, and pinched the bridge of his nose.  
"Look guys, I know this is some hard news to consume and it will be a tough couple of days, but I think that maybe today we could just talk or something" he suggested.

Finn let out an angry growl.  
"How did this happen, ? When did this happen? He asked.

sighed.  
"It happened on Friday night, driving home from Puck's party" he stated.

Puck felt his heart clench.

Finn shut his eyes. "How?" he asked.

The taller man dropped his head. "She was driving home when she got hit by a drunk driver, they totalled her car, and fled the scene before the witness called the cops" he said.

Kurt stood up. "this isn't fair! Rachel is our leader, she is our friend, why didn't anyone tell us about this?" he demanded.  
Sure Rachel was loud, talked a lot and only thought about herself. But Kurt had actually begun to notice just how caring a sensitive she really was.

shrugged.  
"Kurt, sit down, I have no idea I was only notified this morning with minor details" he told them.

The older man reached over and picked something up from the piano.

"They found this in her car" he said, and raised a familiar object in the air.

The sight of the object immediately snapped Puck out of his trance, he recognized it right away. It was the necklace he had given Rachel that night.

Without a single word he stood up, trying to ignore the weakness he felt in his legs as he walked.  
He faced his teacher, and snatched the necklace from the taller man's hands.

He could feel every eye in the room glancing at him.

Mr.S gave him an ungrateful look.  
"Puck, what are you doing?" he asked.

Puck's face was still blank. "I gave this to Rachel Friday night, for her birthday" he informed him.

Something flashed in his eyes, before he frowned and nodded.  
"Take a seat Noah" he said.

Something in the way the teacher said Noah, made Pucks fists clench. Rachel only called him Noah, she was the only one who was allowed to call him Noah.

Puck nodded.  
But instead of going back to his seat, he headed straight for the door.

's voice rung out through the room loud and clear.  
"Puck! Where do you think you're going?" he asked, sternly.

Puck spun around on his heel, not caring about the anger in his eyes.  
"You think that I'm going to sit here and talk everything out, like it's just some normal day in Glee club? Well it's not, Rachel is in the fucking hospital, Schue. Honestly, I don't give two shits what the hell the rest of you do, but I'm going to see her" he spat venomously, before slamming the door shut behind him.

Everyone's expressions were pretty much the same, except for Finn whose face had softened, and Brittany who now had her head in the crook of Santana's neck while she was obviously crying.

Finn stood up, and swallowed, forcing the lump down his throat.  
"You guys should stay here, Rachel's my best friend, and Puck obviously isn't taking the news to well, I think it would be best if we went to see her first. I will call Kurt and let you guys know when to come" he told them, before calmly walking out the door, not bothering to wait for their responses.

Once Puck got out of the choir room, he walked straight over to the lockers, and hit his forehead off of it with a light thump.  
He couldn't believe that this happened, Rachel of all people did not deserve this.

"Fuck" he mumbled as his fist hit the locker angrily.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he spun around to face his best friend.

"What the hell do you want Hudson? I'm not going back in there" he growled.

Hurt flashed through Finn's eyes, but he brushed it off.  
"I'm driving you to the hospital, then we are going to go see Rach" he stated simply.

Puck's eyes went wide.  
"Schue let you leave? What about the others?" he asked.

Finn shrugged. "I told them that we would go see Rachel then I'd call Kurt so they could come once were done" he said.

Puck let out a deep breath and slid down the lockers.  
"I should have driven her home man" he whispered.

Finn plopped down beside him.  
"You know, it's not your fault bro, you know how stubborn she is" he replied.

Puck gave him a weak smile. "I gave her this, you know" he said, holding up the necklace.

Finn took it between his fingertips.  
"Sure beats my Taco Land present" he said.

Puck couldn't help but chuckle.  
"We should probably go now" he said.

Finn stood up, and extended his hand.  
Puck took his best friend's hand, and allowed him to help him up.

He brushed off his clothes, and quickly put the necklace in his pocket, before walking.

The drive to the hospital had been quiet. Finn drove and hummed lightly to himself, while Puck stared out the window trying to clear his mind and not freak out.

The minute they walked through the glass doors, they found the Berry men yelling furiously at a nurse.

They walked up behind them, and Finn cleared his throat.

Leroy and Hiram both spun around and their angry expressions were replaced with sad smiles.  
"We were wondering when you would get here" Leroy, the tall African American man told them.

Puck shut his eyes tight, not trusting his voice.  
"You should have called us" he said.

Hiram put his hands on both of their shoulders.  
"I know we should have, but we have just been really worried about Rachel she hasn't been holding up to well" he said, his voice breaking.

Finn pulled the man into a hug, and Puck was grateful for his friend being there, because if he had to have done that, he would have broken down instantly.

Puck cleared his throat. "What is her room number?" he asked.

Hiram give him a light now.  
"208" he answered.

Puck nodded and glanced at Finn, waiting for the taller boy to join him.

Finn shook his head. "You should go see her first, it will probably be easier if we take turns, besides I need to talk to these two" he said.

Puck didn't answer, he just continued down the narrow hall.  
As he walked, he could feel his legs wobble more and more with each step as he neared his destination.

He came face to face with room 208.

He shut his eyes tightly, and took a few deep breathed.  
This was it.

He reached for the doorknob and turned it tightly in his tanned hands.

As the door opened, Puck nearly fell to the ground.

His heart literally broke at the scene before him.

**Review and I will update tomorrow!**


	5. stay with me

**Hope everyone is having a lovely long weekend :).**

**here is chapter 5!**

**hope you enjoy, poor puck and Finn :(.**

**Next chapter will be Finn visiting Rachel, and then I want to do a chapter where everyone visits her, but in pairs. I;m really hoping to make Santana a big part of this story.**

**REVIEWS!**

**Did anyone listen to the faberry duet? fucking awesome! :D**

His heart broke at the scene in front of him.  
Rachel was lying motionless on the hospital bed, small, fragile, and hooked up to plenty of tubes and wires. Her beautiful face was swollen, and she had big purple bruises along her cheek bones. Her arms were covered in scrapes and bruises as well, and her left wrist had a small cast on it.

His eyes trailed along the rest of her body. Her upper body was covered in white bandages, and where the blanket went over her legs, he could see a bulge near her left leg, indicating that there was most likely a cast there.

He placed his shaky hand to his mouth, and slowly shut the door behind him.

As he walked closer to her bed, he started to realize a few more things.  
She had about a two inch long gash right above her left eyebrow that looked pretty deep. There was a faint scratch under her chin, and a few small bandages on her collar bone.

He walked beside her bed and carefully reached his hand out to her sleeping face. He let his hand lightly trace over the biggest bruise that was on her right cheekbone, as her eyes fluttered open, taking in her surroundings.

Puck felt his breath hitch in his throat, even though Rachel was in such rough shape, her eyes still managed to light up the whole damn room.

A small smile spread across her features as soon as her eyes landed on him, but immediately disappeared as she saw the worried look on his face.

Puck pulled his hand away, scared that he hurt her.  
"Sorry" he whispered.

She shook her head slightly. "don't be." she replied.

They sat in a un comfortable silence for a few minutes before Puck ran his hand through his mohawk, and decided to finally talk.  
"You scared the living hell out of me, you know that Rachel? Finn and I went to your house Sunday, we were so worried about you, I called you, texted you, Finn even looked in your window but there was no sign of anyone there" he whispered.

She dropped her head in shame.  
She opened her mouth to ask him, the question but he answered before she could ask.  
" called an emergency glee meeting at lunch and told us, so I came here" he said.

She chuckled lightly, but winced.  
" actually let you leave?" she asked, her voice husky.

Puck shook his head, and scratched the back of his neck.  
"Not exactly, I kind of made a pretty big scene. I swore at him in front of everyone and stormed out" he whispered.

Rachel reached over and slapped his thigh, although he barely felt it, seeing as how weak she was.  
"Noah! That is terrible" she said, trying to raise her voice.

Puck gave her a light smile. "Don't hurt yourself" he warned her.

She frowned and looked out the window.  
"As flattered as I am that you came, I am kind of disappointed that no one else did" she whispered, not bothering to try and hide the hurt in her voice.

Puck shook his head, he still couldn't quite get over how little and lost she sounded, he knew there was something wrong.

"After my Rachel Berry storm out, Finn told everyone that him and I should see you first and that he would call them to tell them when they could come see you" he explained.

A sad look appeared on her face.  
"Finn" she whispered. "Where is he?" she asked.

Puck's face softened at seeing her look so worried. "He is talking to your dads right now, he told me I should go first" he replied.

She smiled at him. "Of course. So everyone actually cared?" she asked in disbelief.

Puck nodded his head.  
" They looked pretty shocked, Kurt was ready to run right out of the room to the hospital but Schue made him sit down, and Brittany was actually crying pretty hard" he told her, leave it to Rachel to want everyone to notice her even in a time like this.

She frowned at his words. "I didn't mean to scare anyone, I'm sure I will be fine" she whispered, in a low voice.  
They both knew that was a lie.

Puck traced patterns on the hospital sheets with his index finger.  
"Tell me about your injuries" he said, in more of a demand then a question.

She nodded, and looked down at the bed, unable to meet his eyes.

"I have four broken ribs, a broken wrist, a concussion, a broken leg, stitches along my right hip, and 11 stitches right here" she said, pointing to her forehead. "And they think that there might be something wrong with my lungs, I'm having trouble breathing" she added, quickly.

His eyes snapped up at the last statement.  
He tried so hard to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat, seeing her this way made him want to yell, cry, kick something and just hold her and never let go.

"It's my entire fault" he let out, as he dropped his forehead against the bed.

"Noah..." she whispered, trying to get his attention.

"Noah, look at me right now" she ordered.

He slowly raised his head off the bed, glad that she didn't notice the tears in his eyes.

The moment she saw how vulnerable he looked, her hand lifted and gently cupped his cheek, brushing against his smooth skin.  
He leant into her touch, needing to feel the warmth of her against him again. "I should have taken you home, Rachel. I shouldn't have ever let you drive home by yourself that late" he mumbled.

She continued to rub circles against his cheek, but she let her hand trail down to his chin where she lifted it to look into her eyes.  
"Noah, don't you dare even think for a second that any of this is your fault, if you had driven me home then you could very well be in a hospital bed next to me right now" she replied.

He clenched his jaw against her hand. "I would probably feel less guilty" he told her honestly.

Her grip on his face tightened ever so slowly.  
"Noah please" she begged. "Don't say that to me right now, I don't know what I would do if I had to see you like this" she admitted.

He pulled away from her touch angrily.  
"And you think I can? Do you think that I can just sit here and look at you right now without wanting to punch someone, or kick something? Because I can't. Seeing you like this Rachel, it breaks my heart" he whispered.

She looked shocked for a second, but she just raised her hand back up and continued to draw circles on his face.

He stared into her eyes, trying to find something, anything, looking for reassurance, something to tell him that everything was going to be okay, be he didn't find anything.

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the necklace, trying to untangle it.

Hurt flashed through her eyes.  
"Noah, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to drop it, it must have fallen out of my pocket" she whispered.

He put a finger to her lips and smiled.

Puck reached over and slowly tilted her head forward, clasping the necklace around her neck.  
"I think that it will be pretty hard for you to lose it now" he said, laughing.

A warm smile lit up her face, at seeing him laugh.  
"I think your right" she replied.

He reached over and intertwined their fingers together, loving the electric shock that jolted his body when their skin met.

He glanced up from the floor and immediately brown eyes locked onto hazel.

He watched as her big chocolate brown eyes moved from left to right, staring deeply into his, it felt as if he couldn't move, like she was keeping him dead in his place.  
"Stay with me tonight" her voice was barely above a whisper.

He opened his mouth to reply, but snapped it shut again once Rachel began to speak.  
"Please Noah, I don't want to be alone again" she whimpered.

He nodded his head, and squeezed her hand. "Of course".

She smiled gratefully at him.

He slid to the end of his seat, and stroked her long dark tresses. Her eyes automatically fluttered shut at the contact.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and Puck quickly pulled his hand away, glancing up at the tall boy in the doorway.

Finn looked at him.  
"Sorry, I thought maybe I could see her now" he whispered, keeping his eyes locked on Puck until the other boy was gone, he didn't want to break down in front of his best friend.

Puck leaned over and kissed her before standing up.  
"I'll be back soon" he told her.

As he walked past Finn, he placed a hand on his best friends shoulder.

Finn looked at him with his eyes wide, letting him know just how scared he was.

Puck immediately returned the look.

Things were definitely not okay.

**Any suggestions on what you think will happen next? feel free to review. it's greatly encouraged.**


	6. I'm so sorry

**Sorry that I havent updated in a while, but here it is :D**

**HAPPY GLEE DAY 3**

**REVIEW PLEASE :)**

Finn took a deep breath as he watched Puck exit the small hospital room.  
He turned all of his attention to the girl in the bed.

When they made eye contact Finn felt his heart clench. She looked so tiny and broken just lying there, and it took everything he had in him not to break down and cry right then and there.

He slowly took a few steps forward until he was standing beside her bed, looking down at her small figure.

She smiled sleepily up at him.  
"Hi Finn" she whispered, huskily.

He smiled weakly down at her. Her voice sounded so little and far away, not like her normal powerhouse voice.

"Hey buddy" he replied.

She took his hand in hers. "Sit" she ordered.

He did as he was told, and sat in the chair that Puck had just recently left which was still a little bit warm.

"I'm so sorry" he whispered.

Her eyes snapped to his, and she gave him a confused look. "Sorry for what?" she asked.

He frowned. "That this happened to you, that I wasn't there to drive you home" he replied.

She smiled at him. "Noah basically said the same thing, but you wouldn't have been able to drive me anyways, you were drinking and besides are you saying I am not capable of taking care of myself? Because I assure you I am perfectly able to take care of myself" she said, going into full rant.

He put his hands up in front of his chest. He was glad to see the old Rachel was still somewhere in there, even if it was a small gesture.  
"Whoa, whoa, okay you are capable of taking care of yourself" he assured her.

She tried to beam at him, but it ended in a sort of crooked smile. "Thank you" she said.

"Rach?" he whispered.

"Hmm?" she replied, glancing up at him.

"Are you scared?" he asked her, sounding unsure of his words.

She sighed, and glanced out the window at the other end of the room.  
"Kind of, I mean look at me I'm more cripple then Artie at the moment, and how am I suppose to know if this is going to damage my singing voice or not" she answered.

Finn sighed. Of course, leave it to Rachel to think of her singing voice through all of this.

He bit his lip. "How long do you think you'll be in here for?" he asked.

She closed her eyes and looked at the bed below her.  
"I have no idea actually, hopefully not long" she replied.

All they could do was hope that was true.

He smiled at her.  
"Good".

She leaned over and patted his knee lightly. "Enough of this how's things with Burt and your mom?" she asked.

He opened his mouth to object but she stopped him.  
"Finn, I don't want to talk about this anymore, please" she whispered, a pleading look in her eyes.

He bit his lip and let his head slump.

She smiled softly up at him. "As I was saying, how is your mom and Burt?" she repeated.

He refused to look at her, so he just played with the material of the bed instead.  
"An old guy stopped by the shop yesterday and gave Burt a bunch of spare parts out of nowhere, and he made almost twice as much as he does normally, so he is in a great mood" he told her.

She somehow managed to beam up at him, sincerely.  
"Tell him congratulations for me" she said, her voice cracking slightly.

He stopped and looked at her, their eyes meeting.

His chest clenched and he shut his eyes as tight as he could, refusing to meet Rachel's as a stray tear fell down his cheek.

Rachel's face softened as she watched her best friend s twist, and tears fall.

She bit her lip and slowly raised her hand, placing it lightly on his shoulder and squeezing, letting him know that it was okay.

He lowered his head onto the hospital bed, inhaling deeply.  
Once he felt her hand, still gripping his shoulder he gave up trying to fight the tears, as they soaked the blanket.

After a few minutes he calmed his breathing, and lifted his head, glancing up at her.

The diva's eyes were filled with tears and her mouth was slightly open. She raised her hand to his face, not caring about the stubbles as her hand caressed his cheek.  
"Listen to me Finn" she instructed.

He sat fully up in his chair, watching her intensely for a moment before he nodded.

She took a deep breath and looked at him.  
"I am going to be fine" she told him simply.

He bit his lip, trying so hard not to call her out, to tell her that they both know that isn't true.

He watched as her chest heaved quicker than usual.  
"What aren't you telling me?" he asked her.

Confusion appeared on her face. "What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Are you having trouble breathing?" he questioned her.

He watched closely as Rachel's face softened, and she bit her lip trying to come up with some sort of excuse.

The one thing Finn had always been able to tell was if she was telling the truth or not, Rachel was very predictable.  
"Don't lie to me" he whispered.

Her head nodded just barely. "Yes" she answered.

He went to stand but Rachel grabbed his arm.  
"Please Finn, I'm fine, it s just my broken ribs, I'm going to be okay" she begged.

He hesitated before sitting back down. "Promise?" he asked.

She looked directly into his eyes, pleading for him to stop, not to ask that but the words left her mouth before she had a chance to think it over.  
"I promise".

In that moment, Finn Hudson knew that she wouldn't be okay, that something was off.

They sat in silence staring at each other before they were interrupted by a light knock at the door.

Finn turned around angrily, about to tell them to go away but he felt a hand touch his shoulder.  
He turned around and looked at Rachel, who was nodding at him.

He turned back towards the door and felt relief flash through him, when he saw a familiar mo hawk peeking out from the top of the window.

He motioned for Puck to come in.

The Jewish boy, slowly walking into the room with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slumped.

Rachel's eyes immediately brightened.  
"Hello Noah" she whispered.

He smiled slightly. "Hey Jew-babe".

Rachel felt her heart warm at hearing his old nick name for her.

Puck leaned against the wall and hesitated.  
"Am I interrupting?" he asked.

Finn shook his head. "We've actually just been sitting her for a while" he informed him.

Puck nodded his head. "Want me to text Kurt and tell them to come?" he asked.

The brunette shook her head.  
"Can you just get them to come tomorrow, I'm feeling a little tired today" she whispered.

Puck nodded before pulling up a chair on the opposite side of the bed from Finn.

The room fell into comfortable silence before Puck noticed Rachel starting to nod off.

He slid his hand into hers.  
"Want to go to sleep?" he asked.

She nodded before closing her eyes again.

Puck looked over at Finn, who was watching Rachel with a frown, and biting his lip.

Rachel glanced between the two boys.  
"Will you guys stay here while I sleep?" she asked.

Both boys nodded in unison. "Of course".

She smiled. "Goodnight Noah, goodnight Finn".

They both watched as she drifted off into a deep sleep.

Puck wished that this wasn't happening, that she didn't have to go through with all of this. If anyone in the world deserved this it sure as hell wasn't Rachel. He looked over at Finn who was still staring at Rachel's face with a look of pain on his own.

Puck sighed, he needed to be strong, for the both of them.

**_REVIEW :D GLEEDAY!_**


	7. I envy you

**I was too lazy to make the glee members visits into a 2 part chapter, so I just put it all in one really long chapter.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

**Bad things await, D: hang in tight, for the next few chapters, happy endings await! :D.**

**REVIEW'S PLEASE :)**

The rest of the evening, had to have been one the slowest times of Puck's life.

He sat around in the hospital room with Finn, while they watched Rachel drift on and off to sleep.  
They both knew that she was getting worse.

Puck first noticed it when he and Finn were playing a game of Cards. They were playing their favourite childhood card game, War.  
Puck had just started to actually feel okay, him and Finn had been laughing and were getting competitive, when Finn decided he needed to use the washroom.

While Finn was gone, Puck sat in silence.  
He let his eyes wander to Rachel, where he watched her intensely.

He watched as every so often, her eyes would clench tighter, and her chest would heave up and down quickly, as her face twisted in pain.  
He knew it wasn't normal, and he wanted to do something about it, but he was scared, he had no idea what he could do.

When Finn returned, he had asked Puck why he was watching Rachel so closely, but Puck just shrugged it off and changed the subject by pulling out the deck of cards again.

Around 8:30 PM, the two Berry men had come in and let Puck and Finn know that they were going to go get some sleep, and that they would be back in the morning.

It broke the Jewish boy's heart, he had never seen the Berry men like this. Especially Leroy. The tall black man was usually so happy and full of life, kind of like Rachel, but now he seemed so far away.

Puck spent the rest of the night, watching as Rachel slept, holding both his and Finn's hands.

It scared him, seeing Finn so vulnerable.  
He and Finn were supposed to be the tough guys of the school, not take crap from anyone.

But glee club changed that all of that.  
Rachel changed everything.

Xoxoxoox

Puck awoke the next morning, to the sound of metal clanking together.

He winced as he lifted his head off the hospital bed.  
He had fallen asleep in the chair, bent over against the bed, so his neck wasn't feeling too good at the moment.

"Shit" he muttered, as he looking around groggily.

His eyes fell on a young nurse.  
She had red curly hair, and bright green eyes, he was surprised at how much she looked like .

"Sorry sir, I didn't mean to wake you" she whispered.

Puck nodded at her.  
"It's fine" he said.

She slid a tray towards him.  
"When she wakes up, let her know that breakfast will make her feel better" she told him.

Puck smiled at her. "Will do".

She gave him a sweet smile before making her way out of the room.

Before she shut the door behind her, she turned back around.  
"Sir?" she asked.

Puck looked up from the bed. "Yes?

"She's beautiful".

Xoxoxoox

After about 20 minutes, Puck was almost ready to eat Rachel's breakfast, so he stood up and retracted his hand from the brunette's.

He glanced around the room, before he caught site of Finn's phone on the night stand.

He took the cell phone, and closed the door gently behind him.

Puck made his way towards the vending machine.  
He popped in a few quarters and ended up with a bag of cheeto's.

He ripped the bag open with his teeth, while he struggled to work Finn's phone.

He clicked the 'contacts' button, before scrolling down until he came across Kurt Hummel's number.

He clicked call.

_*ring*_

_*ring*_

"Hello?" came the urgent voice on the other end.

"Beyonce" Puck greeted him.

"What do you want Puckerman?" Kurt asked. He could basically hear the eye roll in the boy's voice.

Puck sighed.  
"I'm sorry we didn't call you yesterday, Rachel, she hum wasn't really up to seeing anyone" he whispered.

Kurt let out a soft sigh.  
"How is she holding up?" his voice, was barely a whisper.

He heard movement in the background and he looked at his watch. 9:30 AM.  
They were all at school.

"Are you with everyone?" he asked, sounding annoyed.

Kurt let out a sheepish laugh, before he heard a few murmured hellos, which answered his question.

"Shit Beyonce, this was going to be a private phone conversation, yet you had to put me on speakerphone?" he barked.

Kurt's voice sharpened.  
"Can you just be nice for one moment Puck, let go of the tough guy act? You can't just sit here and pretend like were not hurting from this too, Rachel was our friend too, and while you've been at the hospital we've had to sit here worrying our asses off, wondering whether or not she's okay" he whimpered.

Puck's face dropped. Kurt was right, Rachel wasn't just his friend, he was everyone's friend, as well as teammate.

"Look, what classes you guys have next?" he asked.

"Mercedes, Quinn, and I have Math, Brittany, Mike, Matt and Tina have Home Ec, while Artie and Santana have Spanish with " Kurt told him.

Puck sighed.  
"Look, Rach is asleep right now and I know you guys have class, but if you're okay with skipping, you should come see her. Finn's asleep as well" he told them.

There was a long pause before Kurt spoke.  
"We'll be there in 10 minutes".

And then the line went dead.

Xoxoxoox

Exactly 10 minutes later, all the glee kids, including piled their way into the hospital lobby where Puck waited with the two Berry men.

Kurt was speed walking like a mad man, while everyone trailed in behind.

Once everyone approached the three boys, the room enveloped into silence.

Tina was the one to break the silence.  
"Where is she?" she asked.

Hiram sighed.

"First, you guys need to listen to what we have to say, alright?" he asked.

Everyone bobbed their heads up and down in understanding.

Hiram smiled.  
"Good, okay look. Rachel isn't doing too well, she is in pretty rough shape, so please don't act surprised around her when you see the condition she is in, it might upset her more then she already is" he told them, before continuing. "And I think it would be better that instead of going in one big overwhelming group that you guys should go see her in pairs" he explained.

Kurt spoke up.  
"Sorry to rush you here, but I haven't gotten any sleep since yesterday and I would feel a lot better if you would just let us go see Rachel now" he pushed.

Leroy chuckled, before nodding his head.

The group looked among each other.

In an instant everyone began arguing.

Puck snapped his fingers, which shushed them all.

"Look, today isn't about any of you, so stop your arguing shit and go see Rach. Beyonce and Mercedes, go in first". He ordered.

They all blinked a few times before Kurt hooked his arm with Mercede's and the two took off down the hall.

Xoxoxoox

When the two entered the room, Kurt had to put a hand over his mouth to cause from gasping, while Mercedes turned her head away.

Kurt's eyes traveled over the bed.  
Rachel's eyes were shut tight, and her chest was moving unusually fast, while she was gripping Finn's sleeping hand.

Kurt moved his trembling feet forward and lightly touched Finn's shoulder.

The boy jolted awake.

He locked eyes with his brother.

"Hey" Finn said.

"Hey Finn, do you think you could go to the lobby for a while?" he asked, motioning to Rachel.

Finn glanced between him and Mercedes before nodding and leaving.

Kurt looked at Rachel.  
The girl was battered pretty badly.

He glanced at Mercedes, with tears in his eyes.

Thinking of himself as an exceptional girl did this to him a lot, he was really damn emotional.

Mercedes walked over and sat in the chair Finn had been sleeping in, while Kurt walked up to the bed.

He leant over and swiped Rachel's hair away from her face.

He watched as the tiny Diva smiled at him.

"Hey Kurt" she whispered.

Xoxoxoox

About an hour later Kurt and Mercedes returned, both holding hands.

Kurt smiled shaking, sharing a secret look with Puck.

"Who's next?" he asked.

Xoxoxoox

And so the list went on, until there were only 4 people left.

Matt and Mike made their way back into the lobby before looking at the remaining four members.

"I'm guessing it's Santana, Brittany and Quinn's turn?" Mike asked.

Quinn looked at her two best friends.

"Santana and Brittany can go first, I think I need to go alone" she informed them.

They all looked at her a little wide eyed.

Quinn's eyes glanced around a little.  
"There are a lot of things I have to say to Rachel, personal things" she told them.

They all knew what she was talking about.

Brittany turned to Santana, who wrapped her arms around the blond, leading her down the hallway.

Xoxoxoox

As Santana and Brittany walked down the hallway, they both stopped outside the door.

Santana turned to Brittany.

"Hey Britt?" she asked.

Brittany glanced up at her.

"I'm going to say some things that probably aren't going to sound too much like me, okay?" she asked.

Brittany looked confused for a moment before she realized what Santana meant.

The Latina reached for the doorknob but Brittany grabbed her arm, halting her.  
"San I'm scared" she whispered.

Santana sighed, and cupped the blond's face in her hands.

"Britt, Rachel is going to be fine okay? you know how strong she is" she whispered.

Britt nodded her head and glanced down at the carpet.

Santana tilted her chin and looked at Brittany right in the eyes.  
"I'm scared too" she admitted, but before Brittany could say anything, Santana caught her mouth in a lingering kiss.

They entered the room, and Santana felt Brittany pull her hand into a death grip.

The Latina crushed her lips between her teeth.  
She had never seen Rachel look so vulnerable, and broken.

Rachel glanced up at the two girls and fear flashed through her eyes, before she forced on a smile.

A smile that looked so fake, and lost, that Santana felt her own heart clench.

In an instant, Santana felt air hit her palm once she realized Brittany wasn't holding it anymore and instead was across the room, holding Rachel in her arms.

Santana bit back the tears that were stinging at the back of her eyelids.

Rachel giggled softly, but it cracked and her face turned bright red.

Brittany frowned at her, and continued to cuddle the girl.  
"Don't be embarrassed Rach, you're voice just cracked nothing wrong with it, you just sounded like when boys hit puberty" she said, giggling.

Rachel smiled brightly, a true smile. One of her famous Rachel smiles that lit up the whole room.

Rachel looked up to see Santana staring at the floor awkwardly across the room.

The brunette sighed.  
"Santana, you can come take a seat" she said, patting the bed beside her, as well as pointing at the chair beside her.

Santana shook for a second, before hesitantly, taking a seat on the bed beside Rachel who was still currently being held in Brittany's muscular arms.

Rachel glanced up from the bed to meet Santana's gaze.

"Look..." they both started at the same time.

Both girls cracked a smile before, Rachel cleared her throat.  
"You first" she said.

Santana nodded, and looked away.  
"Look, I'm...I'm not really too good with this whole crap but Rachel, I wan't you too know that I am so sorry for ever putting you through the stuff I put you through, you didn't deserve any of it, and sure as hell don't deserve any of this, I just feel really ashamed" she confessed.

Rachel was surprised.  
She was surprised that so little words could lift so much weight off of her shoulders.

She felt a tear fall down her cheek.  
"You don't know how much I've been wanting to hear that" she whispered.

Santana frowned.  
"B, I think you're making it hard for Rachel to breath" she said, noticing the girl s rash breaths.

Rachel froze for a second, her eyes wide, before chuckling.

Brittany glared at her girlfriend.  
"But San, Rach is just so cuddly, and cute" she said, nuzzling the smaller girl.

Rachel beamed.  
"Santana, I think you girlfriend likes me more then you" she said teasingly.

The Latina let out a short laugh, before getting up and having to force Brittany off of her.

"I think that we should go" she said, frowning sadly at Rachel.

The brunette hung her head and nodded.  
"Tell everyone I said thank you" she said.

Santana nodded, and smiled, as the two girls walked towards the door.

Brittany, ran and gave Rachel one last hug.

"I forgot I brought something for you" she said.

Rachel gave Brittany a confused look as the girl searched through her cheerio s bag.

She felt something tug at her heart, as Brittany pulled out a stuffed duck.

"This is sir Quackington, my mommy got it for me before she moved out, I cuddle with him whenever I'm sad or sick, and I thought that maybe cuddling with him would make you feel better" she whispered.

Rachel reached out a shaky hand and took the duck, rubbing her cheek against the soft fluff, as a tear fell from her eye.

"Thank you Brittany, thank you so much" she whispered, her voice breaking.

Santana's mouth was wide open.  
Brittany usually never let anyone touch Sir Quackington, it was her most prized possession.

As the two girls began to leave the room Santana turned back around once more.

"Oh and Berry? You're not too bad" she said, with a smile as she left the room.

Once the two girls got back to the lobby, Santana was clutching Brittany's hand tighter then she intended too, while the Blonde's eyes were slightly red.

Santana looked at Quinn with a pleading look before nodding her head.

Xoxoxxoxo.

As Quinn walked down the hallway, she felt her legs trembling.  
She was about the face the girl, she had tortured her whole life, the girl she had called every mean name in the book, the girl she had slushied too many times to count.

She took a shaky breath as she opened the door.

She clearly caught Rachel off guard, as the short brunette jumped a mile, and winced as she nearly fell off the bed.

Quinn ran to her side, and helped her back into sitting position on the bed.

Once the taller blond finished helping Rachel, she glanced down, and let the words slip through her lips.

"Oh god..." she whispered.

Rachel bit her lip and looked down.

"Hi Quinn, I wasn't expecting anyone else" she said.

Quinn felt guilt fill her stomach, Rachel didn't even expect her to go see her.

"Rachel, what happened?" she asked, trying not to break down.

Rachel held back tears, and met her enemy's gaze.

_She had been driving._  
_She got in her car, and felt an overwhelming amount of happiness, from the previous encounters that occurred._

_As she drove, she could fear her eyes slowly drifting off._

_'No' she told herself. 'You're almost home, just stay awake'._

_She took a deep breath, and glanced down at the radio._  
_She made it a strict rule that she would never under any circumstances, listen to music while driving. She could easily get distracted and something bad could happen._

_But in this moment, she didn't care._

_She sighed, and reached over turning the switch of the radio on._  
_The minute the sweet music filled her ears, the screeching of car tires did also._

_She awoke to the sound of yelling._

_She couldn't move her body, the feeling of pain was shooting through every inch of her._

_She glanced around, noticing a women talking furiously on her phone._

_She took one deep breath, feeling her lungs fill with smoke, before everything went black._

Quinn bit her lip.

"I'm so sorry" she whispered.

Rachel looked away. "For what?" she asked.

Quinn sighed. "Where do I begin?" she asked, jokingly.

Rachel didn't laugh, instead she looked everywhere but at Quinn.

The taller blond sighed, and sat in the chair, pulling it close to Rachel's bed.

"Hear me out okay?" she asked.

Rachel nodded, it was the least she could do.

Quinn sighed.  
"I know Santana probably came in here and apologized too, but if anyone, you deserve an apology from me, Rachel. You never once deserved anything I did to you. All those slushies, those names, and the years of torture I caused you..." she whispered.

Rachel winced.  
"Why did you do it?" she asked.

Quinn rubbed a hand through her hair.  
"First day of high school, I never really liked you, but I didn't hate you, I tripped and the slushy hit you, everyone started to laugh, but within an hour you came out of that washroom, looking better than ever and with a huge smile on your face" Quinn said, a smile forming on her own face.

"I guess that's what made me do it, the fact that it never once cracked you, it never once bugged you anything I said or did, which just irritated me so much that I would try and do it until you did crack" she whispered, shamefully.

Silence grew between them, before Quinn spoke again.

"I never hated you, you know" she said.

Rachel furrowed her brows.  
"What?" she asked.

Quinn nodded.  
"I envy you, Rachel".

Rachel opened her mouth a few times.  
"Why?" she asked.

Quinn rubbed a hand down her face.  
"Why not? I mean you're the star of glee club, Rachel. You get all the solo's, you have the most powerful voice, you had Finn, you have Puck, we all know that you're going to have it big one day Rachel, we've all known it from the minute you stepped into our lives" she said.

Rachel looked up at her with hopeful eyes.  
"Quinn, you have no reason to envy me. I mean look at you" she said.

Quinn looked away. "You need to understand, that if I could take back everything, every slushy, every cruel word, every picture drawn, I would". She admitted.

Rachel reached over and took Quinn's hand in hers.  
"I forgive you".

Quinn nodded.  
"I should probably go see everyone else" she said standing up.

Rachel nodded.  
"Thank you Quinn" she said.

Quinn smiled and nodded.

Rachel returned the smile.  
"Could you tell everyone goodbye for me?" she asked.

Quinn hesitantly nodded, and made her way out of the room.  
There was something off about the way Rachel said that sentence, she just wasn't sure what it was.

**Reviews? please, I love you all!**


	8. Would you hold it against me?

**Sorry this took me so long, but on the brightside I wrote out the final chapters. 6 more too goo!. I'll update everyday, :D.**

**Please don't hate me after this! better times to come I promise!**

As Quinn shut the door to Rachel's room, she slowly walked over to the wall and slid down, until she was sitting on the grimy hospital floors.

Horrible memories flashed through her head. All of the name calling, the slushies, she couldn't believe that she would ever do that to anyone, let alone the single most undeserving person of it all.

She slid her head into her hands as she remembered a certain, clear memory.

_She had been walking down the hallways with Santana and Brittany when she saw a group of people crowded around someone laughing._  
_The three cheerio s squeezed their way through the crowd, to see Rachel Berry standing in the middle of it. Dave Karofsky was standing in front of her, with an empty slushy cup, and the cold purple liquid was dripping down the front of her blouse and shoes._

_Quinn didn't even bother trying to hold in her laughter at the sight in front of her, it was too hard to resist._

_She grabbed the slushy cup from a random jock's hand and in one swift movement she dumped the cup right over the Diva's head, leaving the cup as a souvenir._

_The crowd roared into laughter, and Quinn shot everyone her HBIC smirk before grabbing her two best friends and leading them out of the crowd._  
_She only stopped when she heard the small voice._

_"Why?" Rachel asked._

_Quinn spun around and glared at her._  
_"Because you're a little freak who doesn't know how to keep her paws off of someone else's boyfriend" she spat._

_Rachel frowned. "I don't like Finn" she whispered._

_Quinn rolled her eyes._  
_"Oh please, that's why you've been drooling over him like a little puppy? Didn't your mommy ever teach you not to take things that don't belong to you?" she yelled. "Hell, if I was your mom I'd probably send you back to Israel" she snarled._

_The hallway fell into silence, and that's when she knew she had gone too far._  
_Rachel's face twisted into pain and she ran for the nearest bathroom._

When Quinn thought about it now, she felt nothing but guilt. Rachel's mom had given her up, and when Rachel tried to make things work again 16 years later, her mother had dropped her off like yesterdays garbage load.

Quinn sighed and walked back to her group of friends.

Puck saw her red rimmed eyes and immediately jumped up.  
"What happened?" he asked angrily.

Quinn raised her hands in front of her. "Calm down Puck, I said sorry for everything" she told him.

Puck softened a bit, but the scowl never left his face.  
"Good and she deserves a hell of a lot more than that" he spat.

Quinn nodded, and took a seat beside Mercedes.

slowly stood in front of them.  
"So how are you guys holding up?" he asked.

Finn looked at him. "How do you think?" he asked coldly.

sighed. "Look, I know you guys are all upset, I am too but you need to stop lashing out at each other" he said.

Everyone was surprised when it was Tina who spoke.  
"You don't know what it's like . Sure you're her teacher, but we've had to deal with Rachel since public school, some of us even Kindergarten. Do you think that we want to just sit here and watch as she gets worse and worse? She made all of us who we are today, without her there is no glee club" she said, wiping her eyes.

Everyone decided to let Rachel rest for a few hours, will everyone else ate lunch and did their homework.  
They talked to make the best of things, trying to take their minds off of the bad stuff.

Finally, once 5:30 rolled around, Puck snuck off from the group to go check on Rachel. He knocked on the door lightly before entering.  
He smiled at the sight before him.

Rachel slept peacefully with a smile on her face, one arm resting beside her on a perfectly shaped pillow, while another one was in between her waist and her other arm.

He walked over and brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear, trying hard not to chuckle as she jumped awake.

"Noah" she whispered, looking up at him with tired brown eyes. "You scared me".

He smiled and continued to brush her hair behind her ear. "Sorry" he answered.

Her face softened, not a lot of people got to hear Noah Puckerman say sorry.  
"It's fine, where is everyone?" she asked.

He sat down on the side of her bed, not taking his eyes off of her.  
"They're all still outside. What'd you do the past few hours?" he asked her.

Rachel shrugged. "Just thought about things, and I sang a little" she admitted.

His eyes shot to hers. "You sang?" he asked.

She smiled and nodded.  
"I was a bit rusty, but I wanted too" she said.

He furrowed his brows. "What did you sing for?" he asked.

Rachel just stared at him, smiling lightly.  
"How are you Noah? How are you feeling about this all?" she asked, nervously.

He sighed and ran his fingers down his arm.  
"I don't know. Guilt, anger, sadness" he said honestly.

She frowned.  
"Noah, stop blaming yourself, please" she begged.

He shook his head. "It's not that easy" he told her.

She grabbed his hand. "Yes it is. Look, the only person who is at fault for any of this, is the jerk who decided to drink and drive" she said.

Puck tightened his grip on her hand and looked in her eyes.  
"I'm going to find him, I promise" he told her.

She nodded her head.  
"You're really special to me, Noah" she whispered.

He glanced at her, and felt his heart clench. He wanted so badly to tell her he loved her, but the words wouldn't leave his mouth.  
"You're really special to me too, Rach" he said.

He glanced down at her chest and noticed how it slightly took up its pace, and began to heave a bit quicker than usual.

"Noah, I need to tell you something" she said, but her voice cracked slightly, and she took in a slow breath.

"No-Noah" she said, cautiously.

Puck looked at her and began to panic.  
"Rachel?" he said, unsure of what to do.

"Shit, shit, fuck" he chanted, and began for the door.

Rachel caught his arm.  
"Noah wait" she yelled.

He spun on his heel, to see her grasping his arm, and a tear falling down her soft cheek.

"If I asked you to kiss me right now, would you hold it against me?" she asked.

Puck knew she should have run. He should have run as fast as he could, but the pleading look in her eyes, stopped him.  
He walked towards her with long strides until he was standing right over her. He leaned down and grasped the back of her neck, pulling her into a deep kiss. Her lips were soft and although she had been in the hospital, he could still taste a hint of her mint mouthwash. He felt her small fingertips glide through his Mohawk, and he squeezed his eyes shut, pushing every last ounce of passion he had left in him, trying to savour the moment, before he pulled away and ran into the hallway, not even glancing back.

As he ran to the doorway, he could hear the noises she was making. The soft whimpering and heavy breaths and it took everything he had in him not to just curl up on the ground right there.

Once he made it to the hallway he noticed the nurse from before.  
"NURSE" he yelled.

She spun around and knew exactly where she came from.  
She ran full speed into Rachel's room, and Puck could feel his heart picking up.

Puck could see all the glee clubbers starting to notice what was going on, and watching him as they sat in the lobby.

He felt his legs begin to wobble, as he watched more and more doctors and nurses rush in her tiny hospital room.

The rest of the group made their way over.  
"What the hell is going on Puckerman?" Santana yelled.

Puck felt his chest tighten.  
"I just...she, she started breathing so heavily, I don't know what happened." he told them.

He watched as every single pair of eyes softened at how broken he sounded.

They heard shouting and turned as Rachel was being rushed out of the room on her hospital bed.

Puck jumped up and ran at them.  
"What the fuck?" he yelled.

A doctor turned to him.  
"Lung failure, she needs to go into immediate surgery" he told them all.

Puck felt as if someone had punched him right in the gut.

He turned to his group of friends, with wide eyes.

"" he whispered, unsure of what else to do.

He wasn't nearly surprised when his teacher stepped forward and pulled him into a tight embrace, whispering soothing words in his ear.

**I'll update tomorrow for you :) sorry for the cliffhanger.**


	9. Im so sorry

**Sorry it's been a while, I just got my computer fixed. It's summer now though, so updated everyday!**

**review and let me know what you think about this chapter!**

Puck sighed and ran his sweaty hands over his jean clad legs.

The whole group had been waiting anxiously for the better part of two hours as the surgery was under way.

No one had spoke a single word, except for Santana whens he had screamed at a nurse to get her peanuts from the vending machine,which she had just ended up throwing right back at her anyways.

Puck didn't know what to do.  
He didn't know whether to feel angry, or sad or just plain shocked.  
He knew one thing for sure, he was scared.

He glanced over at Quinn, who was staring at him sadly.  
The last time either of them had been here was when Quinn was giving birth to Beth.

She smiled at him softly.  
"You know she will be fine" she whispered.

Puck didn't know any sort of emmotion.  
"How can you be so sure?" he asked, angrily.

Quinn's smile turned into a full on grin.  
"Oh come on, Puck. This is Rachel berry were talking about right?" she asked.

Puck wanted to scowl. He wanted to yell, but instead he couldn't fight the smile that appeared on his face.  
It dissapeared just as quickly as it had appeared.  
"I can't lose her Quinn, she's all I have left" he whimpered.

He felt her hand envelope his. "You have all of us Puck. Rachel has all of us" she assured him.

Puck felt his heart leap as the doctor neared them.

"Are you the glee club?" he asked.

Even though Puck was sitting down, he was pretty sure if he was standing his knees would have gave out by now.

stood up and shook the doctor's hand.  
"I'm , Rachel's teacher. And these are all of her friends" he said.

The doctor nodded at them.  
"Mr. and are both in the surgery room right now, I have some news" he said.

Puck clenched his fists so hard, he could feel his nails digging into his palm.

"Is she okay?" Kurt asked.

They all watched carefully as the doctor gave them a sympathetic look and spoke the words that each and every one of them had been dreading.  
"I'm so sorry" he whispered.

Puck was pretty sure that his whole world had stopped right then and there. The sound of all the people talking, and the beeping monitors, had been drowned out and replaced with a loud ringing in his ears.  
He noticed each of his friends, had looked as if it had been them that passed away instead of Rachel.

How Kurt had immedietly dropped to the floor, and was now being rocked gently against Blaine.  
How Quinn had let go of Puck's hand and was now crying freely into Sam's chest. Or How Santana was the one crying into Brittany's arms while the blond held onto her securely.

He glanced over at Finn who looked the most broken of them all.  
His mouth was hanging open slightly while his eyes were wide, and his hand was resting shakily on his stomach.

He felt as if something had been ripped out of his chest.  
LIke someone had stuck their hand into his chest and pulled out every last peice of him.

He stood up, still not entirely trusting his knees, as he walked slowly.  
A few of the Glee members gave him questioning glances while the others were too bult up in their sorrow to even notice him leaving.

He had no idea what he was doing, but he knew one thing.  
He had to get out of there.

Once he reached the door, he pushed it open with much more force then he intended to.  
The feeling of the cold December air hitting his bare skin had finally brough him back into reality.

The sound of traffic, and talking surrounded him.  
He had to get out, he had to escape it all.

He ran to Finn's car and opened the door, silently thanking him for being too dumb to lock it.

He reached his hand into the compartment and pulled out Finn's spare keys.

The roar of the engine, was like a drug to him.

He began to drive.  
He had no idea where, and no idea how far, but he couldn't be at that hospital.

As he drove he thought of everything.  
About how fine Rachel had been one minute, then how broken she had been the next.

Puck didn't stop driving until he came across a familiar building.

He got out of the car, and made sure to lock Finn's door.  
He would feel pretty gulty if he had got Finn's care stolen, since he had pretty much stole it himself.

The jewish boy walked to the side of the bulding and stared at the ladder he had seen so many times before.

He had climbed up this building atleast a thousand times, but for some reason seeing it now, it looked as if it was a million miles long.

Puck took a deep breath and began to climb.  
With every step he took came a memory of Rachel. With every step came a song he had heard her sing. With every step came a remark she had shot at him, about how he needed to be a better person, or about how he needed to sing more solo's in glee club. With every step came one last time he got to see her face.

Once he reached the top of the bulding, he collapsed to the ground, feeling gravel dig into his knees.

He slid himself to the side of the roof that overlooked all of Lima, Ohio.

By now the sun was going down. usually he was mesmerized by how beautiful it was seeing the sunset, but now he couldn't bring himself to care.

He pushed himself onto his back and stared up at the blue sky.  
He tried so hard not to cry, not to let it all out. He couldn't be this week, not even for himself.

He hadn't realized how long he had been lying there until he heard the shuffling of rocks coming from behind him.

He opened his eyes, and noticed how the blye sky had been replaced by stars, and how the cool air had been replaced by freezing cold air.

Puck rubbed his palms up and down his arms and turned, seeing Santana making her way towards him.  
Of course.

"What do you want?" he spat.

Santana smiled sadly and sat beside him, handing him a jacket.

He tore it from her grip and threw it over his shoulders, melting into the heat it brought with it.

"Are you kidding? You don't think I know this is where you used to go when Finn would piss you off. Or when your mom would say something to upset you?"She asked.  
"I was there that time you and frankenteen tried to tie your sister to the post over there, and leave her here" she said, softly.

Puck remembered that day, as if it had been yesterday.

"I'm scared" he admitted.

Santana nodded, and put her hands in her coat pockets.  
"We all are" she responded.

Puck shook his head.  
"None of you knew her like I did" he said.

Santana shrugged.  
"Maybe. But she was part of our family, Puck. We all loved her" she whispered.

Puck frowned. "I don't know what to do, or what I'm going to do. I don't know how to do all of this, without her" he said.

Santana nodded and placed a hand on his knee.  
"I know you're scared and you might blame yourself right now, but please don't" she told him.

Puck bit his lip.  
"It's not that easy".

Santana cupped his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her.  
"Listen to me" she said "I know you won't believe me. And right now this will only make you angrier but please trust me" she whispered.

He nodded, unsure of what to say.

Santana tightened her grip on his face. "It will only get better from here on" she told him.

Puck went to protest, but Santana was quick to cover his mouth with her hand.

"My mom died when I was 10" she started. "No one knew. I didn't talk about it to anyone. That's why I was such a bitch all the time. I hide behind my emmotions.  
I know it's no reason to do the things I use to do but it's hard. She was all I had. But after a while, after I found Britt I realized that greater things come in life mourning over her death will only make it worse, Puck. You have to celebrate for how she lived, not sulk for how she died" she whispered.

By the time she was done, Puck's eyes were wide.

He leaned back against the gravel, knowing it would make Santana happier if he didn't say anything.  
He felt her curl into his side, he was glad to have his friend back.

"Thank you" he whispered, before everything faded into black.

**Reviews are greatly appreciated!**


	10. you took her away from me

**AS promised.**

warning, this is kind of a dark chapter for Puck!  
on the plus side you get to find out who hit Rachel!

And also, I cried writing the last little bit of this chapter.

**REVIEW!**

The next day had been the slowest day that Puck had ever experienced.

He didn't go to school, of course. He wasn't ready for that yet, and no one expected him to be.  
The minute he had come home from talking with Santana he had went straight up stairs and fell onto his bed.

He didn't cry, he didn't get angry, he just stared at the ceiling.  
He stared for hours, picturing every last feature on her beautiful body.

The way her eyes would light up at the most non surprising, boring thing in the world. How she would act angry whenever he swore or said something offensive or innapropriate, yet he would never miss the way her lips would twitch up in a small smile. The small dimple on the bottom right corner of her chin, that would only show when she was smiling as big as she could. He missed the way she would kink her eyebrow, when she was trying to be cute, or get him to do something.

He loved everything about Rachel and now that she was gone, every single part of her stood out like a pickle in a bowl of jelly beans.

Puck's mom had come into his room in the morning and gave him a sympathetic look before she put some fresh towels and laundry on the end of his bed.  
He didn't even blink.

About an hour later, His little sister Sarah crept into his room and cuddled into his side.  
It took everything he had in him in that moment not to break down. He had never broken down infront of his sister, let alone anyone.  
He couldn't bring himself to do it.

He wasn't planning on going to school the next morning, but a loud knock at his door braught him out of his trance.  
He didn't tell them to come in, he didn't tell them to go away or fuck off like he wanted to but the minute the person's fist left the door, it was flying open and in walked Finn Hudson.

He walked to the end of Puck's bed, grabbed a towel and threw it right in the Jewish boy's face.

Puck sighed and dragged the towel off of himself, before throwing it right back at Finn.

Finn ran a tired hand over his face.  
"Get up" he demanded.

Puck just continued to stare at the ceiling.

Finn walked over and stood right over him, blocking his view of the roof.  
"Dude, get up" he said again.

Puck rolled his eyes.  
"I don't have to do, shit" he spat back.

Finn glared at him.  
"You can't sit her and waste your days away Puck. You haven't talked to anyone about this, I'm your bestfriend. I'm worried about you, your family is worried about you the glee club is even worried about you. I don't care if you're angry or upset, we all are. Whether you like it or not, you are not aloud to be selfish right now.  
You have a room full of fucking friends going through the same thing as you are right now, so you're going to get your ass out of bed and get in the god damn show" he yelled, angrily.

Puck was shocked. Never in his 17 years had he ever seen Finn yell. Sure when the whole baby situation had happened, Finn was pretty angry, but never this angry before.

So he did the only thing he could think of. He got his ass in the god damn shower.

the drive to school was silent. Well, Puck was silent. Finn tried to lighten up the mood with singing.  
Puck was sure if he had lasted another 5 minutes of Finn's singing, he would have knocked him out.

They got to school and Puck went to his classes.  
He sat by himself,and didn't even pay attention to the poeple that were gossiping about Rachel around him.

Once he finally got to Glee, all of the kids sat in their seats not speaking a single word.

It was Kurt who broke the silence.  
"They're saying that she killed herself" he whispered His voice was barely above a whiper but it caught the attention of every single person in the room, even .

Quinn turned to Kurt.  
"What?" she asked, angrily.

Kurt nodded.  
"I heard the football players talking. They said she killed herself because of all of the bullying" he whispered.  
When nobody said anything he took that as his queue to continue. "They also said that she did it because she was heartbroken over the fact that Finn was still trailing after Quinn" he said.

They all watched as Finn sunk down in his seat, and Quinn's eyes went wide.

Puck clenched his fists together before slamming them down against his thighs.  
"That's bullshit!" he yelled.

Everyone turned to him.  
his face was read, and his eyes were narrowed.

"I can't sit herand pretend like I don't want to beat all of their faces in" He mumbled through his clenched teeth.

"I hit a cheerio today" a small voice in the back spoke up.

Everyone turned around to face Tina, sitting beside Artie.

"Really?" Brittany asked.

Tina nodded. "It was in the changeroom during P.E. She said that Rachel deserved it. I just got so angry so I turned around and hit her" she whispered.

"Who was it?" Quinn asked.

A small smile krept up on Tina's face.  
"Tori Weskin" she said.

"Fucking deserved it" Santana announced.

"I kicked the janitor" Brittany told them all proudly.

Puck furrowed his brows.

Brittany smiled as big as she could.  
"He was cleaning out Rachel's locker and I thought we could all do that together. But he wouldn't leave so angry Brittany came out, and I kicked him" she said.

Everyone was surprised when Santana leaned over and captured the blonde in a heated kiss.

The silence that had enveloped the room didn't last long before Matt slammed the door open.

"I KNOW WHO DID IT" he yelled, panting.

"Did what?" Kurt asked.

Matt calmed his heavy breathing before his face turned into a scowl.  
He walked over to the group and frowned.  
" I know who hit Rachel" he said.

Finn was standing before anyone could even speak.

Matt continued.  
"I was in the locker room and I guess they didn't know I was in there but I heard Karfosky talking to Azimo about him being drunk that night.." Was all Matt could get out.

That was enough for Puck to jump out of his seat, and head right down the hallway.

He felt relief flood through him as he watched Karofsky walk out of the locker room.

He slammed his shoulder into the bigger boy and pinned him against the wall.

"What the hell?" Karofsky hissed.

Puck's face twisted into anger.  
"You think you can get away with this shit? You prick, you fucking killed her" He screamed.

Karofsk'y face widened in fear when he realized what Puck was talking about.

"You fucking took someone's life because you had one too many bears, you fucking douchebag" he yelled again.

He could hear the Glee club approaching him but nothing was stopping him now.

Karofsky frowned.  
"I..I never meant to get her killed, I swear" he whimpered.

That just boiled Puck's blood even more.

He pulled away from Karofsky and right when he saw the look of relief wash over the boy's face, he pulled his arm back and threw his fist right into his face.

Karofsky hit the ground with a thud and struggled to get back up.

Within a second, Puck was ontop of him.

"You took away everything" He yelled, punching him in the gut.

Karofsky whined, still trying to get away.

"You took away her smile" He screamed, his fist reaching the boy's face again.

"You took away her beautiful voice" He whimpered, barreling his fist into the side of Karosky's face.

"You took away her dreams" He screetched, not stoping his fists.

"But most of all you took away her fucking chance to live, she never deserved this" He yelled, bringing his fist down once more, feeling the crunch of Karofsky's nose under his fist.

The sound of Karofsky screaming in agony was enough for Puck to feel satisfied.

Next thing he knew, he was being pulled off of Karofsky, and was leading the beaten boy away.

Puck tried to wriggle out of Sam's grasp.  
"He's had enough" Sam whispered in his ear.

"He fucking took her away from me" He yelled, trying to get back to Karofsky.

The glee club watched in horror as Finn tackled Puck against the lockers.

"You son of a bitch" He screamed. "He took her away from you? You were like all of them. You threw slushies in her face, called her nasty shit, she meant everything to ALL of us. Not just you" he yelled.

They watched as Puck's face softened momentarily before it scrunched together.  
"I was in love with her" He yelled, before he slumped to the ground.

"I'm still in love with her" He whispered, finally letting the words leave his mouth.

Nobody had a chance to speak before Puck covered his face with his hands and finally burst into tears.

He didn't care anymore.  
Screw beaing strong, screw being bad ass. It was all too much.

He lost the only good thing he had left in his life.

He felt a small pair of arms wrap around his waist and for a second he almost felt Rachel against him, but when he looked up through his blood shot eyes, it was Santana hugging him. And soon Brittany,and even Finn. Before long, everyone was hugging him.

**Review and Ill update tommorrow3**


	11. I'm in love with you

**Extremely long chapter. Was going to make it into like 3, but I wouldn't have a chance to update for a few days so I put it all into one for you guys, enjoy!  
This isn't the end, I know it sounds like it is , but it isn't.**

**Also, a surprise coming up next chapter for you guys, ahahha!**

**REVIEW!**

About an hour after the fight, the glee kids all sat together in the choir room.  
Puck still on the verge of crying, and everyone else stressed and tense.

"Fina-fucking-ly" Santana muttered.

"What?"Quinn asked, clearly confused.

Santana rolled her eyes.  
"That Puck cried. It was only a matter of time" She said.

Puck lifted his face from his hands and glared at Santana.  
"Shut the fuck up Satan. I promised myself I wouldn't cry" He said.

"Oh please, don't be such a baby. I'm sure everyone in this entire room has cried" she said, matter of factly.

There was murmers of agreement throughout the whole room.

"I don't know why it took everyone this long to realize how great she is" Kurt whispered.

Which was completely true.  
The only people that were nice to Rachel were Puck, Finn, Kurt and Tina.  
But when it came down to it all, they were a family.

It was an hour after that moment that David Karofsky was arrested for driving while intoxicated, and causing Rachel Berry's death.

The funeral had been the hardest moment of PUck's life. Everyone had just been so broken.  
The minute the casket was braught into the room, Kurt and Finn had both burst out crying.

Seeing the two Berry men was even harder. Puck had never seen them like that before. So quiet and lost. He was use to their crazyness.

What surprised him the most was when Santana, Brittany and Quinn went up to sing.  
They were teary eyed and their voices were harsh. It amazed him how they could go from hating Rachel to being so touched and lost without her.

The next day, called a Glee club meeting after school.

Once they all arived to the choir room after their classes, was perched up on the piano looking very nervous.

Everyone took their normal spots, not saying a single word to one another.

Once everyone was seated and comfortable, Will slid off the piano and walked to the front of the classroom.

He looked them all over, and smiled.  
"How are you all doing? he asked.

No one answered.

He sighed uncomfortably.  
"Please guys. How are you all handling this?" He asked.

"I miss Rach" Brittany whispered.

He nodded in agreement.  
"Thank you Brittany, anyone else?" He asked.

Quinn shook her head.  
" I don't think any of us are ready for this yet" she said, and everyone nodded.

He shook his head.  
"No. You are ready, because if I let this slide, then you'll never be ready. Emma gave me some counciling, and she made me realize that I have to push you guys" He said.

Puck clenched his fists.  
"Please stop" He whispered.

stepped forward and everyone could see the tears clear in his eyes.  
"I know you guys miss her. Rachel was the core of this club, she was what made us who we are, we need to embrace that" he said.

Everyone looked at him confused.

Finn scooted forward in his chair a little bit.  
"Can you please just tell us what this whole meeting is about?" He asked, impatiently.

He took a deep breath and pulled out little slips of paper from behind him.

"You all miss Rachel, right?" He asked, holding the paper in the air.

Kurt furrowed his brows.  
"What is this about?" He snapped.

He began handing out a piece of paper to each person.

"Well, I want each of you to write the thing you miss most about Rachel on that peicce of paper" He told them.

Puck was about to open his mouth to argue, but when he saw the pleading look in his teachers eyes, he stopped.

Once they were finished, collected their papers and headed to the front of the room.

He smiled at them.  
"So how do you feel now?" He asked.

Mercedes shrugged. "Not much different" She spoke for everyone.

Mr.S chuckled.  
"Thought so. That's why each of you will be coming up here and telling us exactly what you wrote on that paper" he told them.

Everyone's eyes went wide.

"You guys have been through this, and 2 years together, you have nothing to be embarassed about" He said.

Sam was the first to walk to the front.

"I miss her strength. She tried to change everyone, to help them and even though we shot her down, she still had the strength to keep trying".

Next up was Blaine.  
"She was the only one in the club who could keep us levelheaded. She even kept me levelheaded. I didn't know her very well, but I wish I did" he said sadly.

Artie slowly wheeled himself up to the front of the room. Everyone could see how upset he was over this.  
"Rachel, was the only one that didn't look at me differently" he whispered "She didn't look at me differently because of my disability, she treated me like she treated everyone else".

Tina went up next, giving Artie a sad pat on the shoulder.  
"Rachel convinced me to tell you guys about my stutter"She whispered."I was scared,andI was going to keep it from you, but she told me I shouldn't try and push people away, and that I was perfect just being myself. I miss how caring she was".

Mercedes moved to the front.  
"I miss how competetive she was. No matter what I did or Kurt did, she would never give up that solo. And now that she's gone, I don't even want a solo" she said, chuckling.

A smile spread across everyone's faces.

Matt and Mike devided to go up together.  
Mike was the first to speak."I miss how much Rachel would push me. No matter how good of a dancer, I am she still pushed until I was better, and I wish I could have thanked her for that" he whispered.

Matt spoke next.  
"Rachel was the only one in this club besides mike to even talk to me. She was the only one that looked past this uniform and saw the real me" he said, pointing to the football jersey he was wearing.

They all watched in utter silence as Santana walked to the front of the room with her jaw clenched.  
"I miss her loyalty. No matter that I did to her or what anyone else did to her, she never once said she hated me. If I was her I would have said those words to me a long time ago. But she still believed in me. Did you guys know she helped me with my first song?" She asked, when everyone else looked shocked, Santana nodded "It was exactly 30 minutes after I slushied her. I went to her, and she still helped" She whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

Brittany walked to the front of the room and braught her girlfriend into a tight hug.  
"It's okay" she whispered, in the Latina's ear.

Santana wiped her tears away and sat back down, ignoring everyone elses sympathy looks.

Brittany smiled at everyone. "I miss Sundays" she said. "I miss every Sunday for 2 years" she told them.

Everyone looked at her confused. But it was Brittany, so no one bugged her to tell them what the hell they were talking about.

Quinn went up next.  
"I miss Rachel's heart" She started. "She was the only one in this entire room that was going to make it somehwere big someday. We tortured her. We made her life a living hell, but still she walked down those hallways like she owned them" She stopped for a second to smile.  
"No matter what we did to her, she still never backed down. It breaks my heart into a million peices that it took us this long to realize that if we hadn't joined this club, if we hadn't met Rachel, none of us would be going somewhere. We would all be stuck in this Pudunk town forever. She taught me so much, and I wish that I could spend the rest of my life telling her each and every one of them, I would have loved to have Rachel as a bestfriend" she whispered.

Everyone else was had all known Quinn for years, some longer than others, but no one had ever seen her this upset before.

Kurt went up next.  
"I miss her smile"He said, smiling himself. "It's amazing how one smile could light up a whole room, no matter what was happening. Whenever someone took her solo, or even did something that made her mad, she still smiled. Her smile was like a drug. I think after a while we all kind of craved to see that smile. Mercedes and I started giving up solos without a fight. Puck and Finn became her bestfriends, even Britt,Satana and Quinn stopped with the name calling and slushies.  
And now, here we are. Each and every one of us, crying because we will never get to see that beautiful smile again" he whispered, tears falling freely from his cheecks.

Finn strolled to the front of the room and threw his arms around his brother, pulling him tight into his chest.  
Kurt clutched Finn's shirt from behind and sobbed into his chest, not daring to move.

Finn looked over his shoulder but no body met his gaze.

He pulled away and gave his brother one last squeeze before the younger boy walked back to his seat.

Finn sighed and shifted his foot nervously.  
"I miss my bestfriend" he started. "She was the one who convinced everyone to let me stay in the club when it was just her, Mercedes, Tina, Artie and Kurt. They were going to just kick me out, but Rachel convinced them not to. She was the only one who didn't see me as just some dumb jock. Even when I was in the club, still no one gave me a chance, but she did. She helped me with my voice, with my dancing. She was there for me, When the baby thing happened, she was the only one in this entire room who had the guts to tell me what the hell was going on."he felt his blood boiling. "Now it's not fair that she is dead, while all of us are alive. That we all get to live our happy little chipper lives while she is lying in a box covered in dirt" he yelled, clenching his fists.

stepped foward and walked the still angry Finn back to his chair, patting him lightly on the back.

"Who is next?" asked.

Everyone watched as Puck walked to the front of the room. The thudding in his chest, almost unbearable.

Will cleared his throat and handed puck his paper.  
"Puck, what do you miss most about Rachel?" He asked.

Puck placed his paper on the piano and stepped forward, meeting everyone's gaze.  
"I miss everything about her" she said. "She tried to make me a better person, she tried to change me, to help me. She was the only one out of you that didn't call me a Lima loser. The day I sang my first solo was for her, and do you know what she told me? She told me she was proud of me. It was the first time anyone has ever told me they were proud of me and I couldn't ever be more glad that it was from her. I have a song I would like to sing for her today" he said.

He walked over and picked up his guitar, sitting on the stool.  
"This one is for you Rachel".

_I could stay awake just to hear you breathing Watch you smile while you are sleeping While you're far away and dreaming I could spend my life in this sweet surrender I could stay lost in this moment forever Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure_

_Don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you baby and I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you the sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing_

_Lying close to you feeling your heart beating And I'm wondering what you're dreaming Wondering if it's me you're seeing Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever, forever and ever_

_I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you baby and I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you the sweetest dream would never do __I'd still miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing_

_I don't wanna miss one smile, I don't wanna miss one kiss I just wanna be with you, right here with you, just like this I just want to hold you close, feel your heart so close to mine And just stay here in this moment for all the rest of time_

_Don't wanna close my eyes, don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you baby and I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you the sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing_

_I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you baby and I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you the sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing_

_I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep Yeah, I don't wanna miss a thing_

Once he was done, he looked around the room. Everyone looked shocked. The only solos he had ever sang in Glee club were for Quinn and Rachel last year, but they didn't mean as much as this one did.

broke out of his trance.  
"I should have told you guys this sooner, but when we were at the funeral, Rachel's fathers gave this to me" he said, holding up a disk. "They found it on her night table at the hospital, and I want us all to listen to it" he said.

Puck went and sat down in his seat, this time beside Finn.  
He felt a hand on his shoulder. He didn't have to look to know it was his bestfriend.

as Will walked to the small stereo at the corner of the room, the click of his shoes was louder than usual.  
The click of the play button was even louder.

He felt the hand on his shoulder tighten and a few gasps amongst his friends, as the familiar voice filled the room.

"Hey guys" Rachel's voice was husky.  
"I know by now I am probably gone. About an hour after you guys came to visit, I asked the nurse if she would let me record something for you guys. I wanted to take the time to tell each and every one of you something before I left" she whispered.

"Artie, when I came into the Glee club you were the only one who took the time and day to even listen to me, and I will never be able to thank you enough for that.  
Don't ever give up on your dream, okay? Personally, I think you'd be a wonderful dancr" she said, and they could hear the smile in her voice.

Everyone looked at Artiem who was blushing. No one knew that he wanted to be a dance.

"Blaine you were a great addition to the New Directions, and I will never forget the time we sang together, it was truly an honour. All that I ask from you is that you please try, and I mean try because it will be hard, to keep Kurt sane" she said, giggling.

There was now smiles on both Kurt and Blaine's faces.

"Sam, please keep Quinn out of trouble. And don't get her pregnant, we all had to deal with that once, and trust me, you were lucky you weren't here" she said.

Sam raised his eyebrow at Quinn who was biting her lip and trying not to smile.

"Matt and Mike, you have both grown so much over these two years, with both your dancing and singing, but so help me god if either of you ever try and sing spice girls again, I will haunt you both" she said, seriously.

Everyone started laughing, even Puck.

"Tina, I want you to make sure that Mercedes and Kurt don't kill eachother. God only knows what is going to happen now that I'm not there to hog all the solos from them. You have been one of the most amazing, best friends that I could have ever asked for, thank you" she whispered.

Tina huddled in closely with Artie, feeling a few tears drip down her face.

"Miss Santana Lopez" Her voice came out clearer for a second and it almost sounded like the old Rachel. "Please do me a favor and think next time you throw a slushy. I know it's hard, and I know you want so badly to be feared by other people, but you don't need that.  
I know that you think you're lonely Santana, because hell, I know what it feels like to, but please just look beside you and look at Brittany, the woman who loves you and is going to make your dreams come true. Look at all the friends around you who love you. Santana you are one of the most honest people I have ever met, and I got to meet the real you when you came into my hospital room and all I ask is you please think of that before that cup leaves your hand again" she whispered.

Santana looked around the room. Everyone was nodding their heads at her but the only thing that kept her from breaking down in that moment was the soft hand that enveloped her own.

"Mercedes, please do me one thing. Every song you sing in this club, every song you sing out of this club, please sing it with everything you have in you. I know that you are going to make it big one day, and I know you are going to be bigger than beyonce, and it makes me sad that I couldn't be here to buy your first album."  
she whispered, a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Britt" Rachel started. "You have been such a good friend to me these past two years. I have enjoyed every single dance class we shared, and I'm so so so sorry, that I won't be here to visit the ducks with you anymore. I know if you ask Santana, she would be happy to go with you" Rachel said.

Everyone looked at Brittany with raised eyebrows. They didn't know that Rachel even took dance, let alone took it with Brittany, or hung out with her.

"Kurt Hummel" Rachel said huskily. Kurt clenched his fists together when he heard his name leave her lips.  
"You do not understand how much you mean to me, and how much I am going to miss you. You were the only one in this club that I was scared I might lose my spot to, and now I couldn't be happier to lose my spot to you. I don't think that I have ever met anyone in this world as brave as you Kurt and I am so honoured that I had the chance to know, let alone be such close friends with someone like you. Thank you for everything you have done for me, and remember, you might be lonely, but you aren't alone" she said.

Kurt had his arms around Blaine the second she was done talking.

"Quinn" rachel whispered. "First off I want to thank you for what you said the other day in my hospital room, it lifted alot of weight off of my shoulders.  
I don't hate you Quinn, I could never hate you. I know you probably feel guilty right now, for our past and everything but you ahve nothing to worry about.  
You are a remarkable person. I know you think things are hard right now but they will get better I promise. You're a very beautiful girl Quinn, and you can do anything that you want to do" she said, smile noticable in her voice.

Puck glanced over at Quinn who had a hand over her mouth and was openly sobbing into it.

"Finn" Rachel said, and Puck felt the hand on his shoulder tighten immensley.  
"You are honestly the best friend that anyone could have ever asked for. You believed in me when no one else did. You braught me back to Glee club when no one else even noticed I was gone. You were the only one who actually had the time and day to put up with me." she stopped for a moment and Puck could hear the tears in her voice. "You were the best friend I ever had, and I wouldn't have given it up for anything. Thank you. Oh, and Finn? Please stop trailing after Quinn like a lost puppy. Im sorry to say this infront of everyone but it needs to be said. Sorry Sam, but Finn if you want Quinn so badly then go for her. IfI remember correctly,  
you never give up" she said.

Finn felt stinging in his eyes as he looked over at Quinn. She was looking at him with a hint of a smile and tears in her eyes as well.  
Finn felt something inside of him. It felt like a glimmer of hope.

Puck felt his heart skip a beat at his own name coming out of her mouth.

"Noah" she breathed.  
Puck hadn't realized how badly he had wanted to hear her say his name until she finally did it.  
"I don't have much to say to you. You were the only person who I could count on. You were always there for me, as a friend and so much more. I don't regret anything that had ever happened in our friendship. I love you Noah, I always have. And I know that it's selfish of me to tell you this now, but I can't leave without you knowing that. You are going to grow up and have a beautiful family someday, and I'm so sorry that I couldn't be there to watch it happen" she said, puck felt his heart breaking at every word.

Puck was breathing heavily now, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had been waiting for this moment for as long as he could remember, and now that the words were finally coming out of her mouth, he didn't know if he was dreaming or not.

Rachel sighed.  
"I know you're all probably scared and upset right now but it will ger better, I promise you. and I can't leave without blowing this house down with another solo,  
so here is one last song I want to sing for you guys".

Everyone started smiling when Rachel began to sing the song "Smile" by Charlie Chaplin.

By the time the song was done everyone was crying happy tears. Puck had his hand clasped tightly in Finn's while both of them were crying. Quinn was smiling and had tears running down her face while her hand was in Brittany's. Brittany was holding both Santana and Quinn's hands, and was crying as well.

PUck reached into his back pocket and pulled out a slightly crumpled picture of him and Rachel.  
He smiled, he didn't care anymore.

Rachel loved him, and that was all that mattered.

**NOT THE END OF THE STORY. I know it sounds like the end, but it isn't REVIEW please.**


	12. forever

**Don't kill me, I'm not done with the story yet, so don't get any ideas.**

**Thanks, Review please!**

Noah Puckerman listened to the heavy crunching of the snow beneath his feet as he walked.

He had walked down this same pathway 10 times now. Once a year, he came to this exact same spot.

As he walked he clenched the beautiful bouquet of flowers that he was carrying in his hands, tighter, dragging his fingers along the thorns of the stem.  
They were lillies, her favourite. He remembered the day he found out they were her favourite. It was her birthday in 10th grade and he made the mistake of getting her roses, thinking she would find him romantic, but instead she gave him a lecture on how beautiful lillies were.

He lifted the flowers up to his nose, and took in a deep breath.  
The things he would do to hear her ramble about lilies again, blew his mind.

This day was always the hardest day of the year for him. December 14th, the day the love of his life passed away.

As he neared the grave, he thought back to that day.  
The heartbreak, the anger, the devistation.

He stopped right infront of the grave.  
He read the words that were neatly engraved into the large stone; In loving memory of Rachel Berry. Daughter, friend. and of course, there was Rachel's favourite quote written off to the side.

Right below the bundle of words was a date written, 1994-2011.

Puck felt his heart swell.

He leaned down and reached for the dead flowers he had placed the year before. He ran his fingers through his trimmed hair and sighed. The mohawk look had soon died down about 2 weeks after she died. He didn't want to be feared anymore. He remembered when he cut his hair the year before that and no body feared him anymore,  
no body even noticed him. He wanted that again, he needed that.

He knew that he'd better hurry, the others would be arriving soon and he wasn't ready to face them yet.

He always told himself "I'll finally see them this year". But whenever it came around to it, he chickened out.  
He knew he shouldn't have just cut them out of his life. He stayed in touch until graduation, then the next day he vanished. He ran off to New York, hoping to do something with his life, to be able to feel what Rachel wanted to do, but it only made it worse.

He hadn't even stayed in touch with Finn.

The only person he stayed in touch out of everyone was Santana. Which was only because she had somehow hunted him down in New York, and her and Brittany showed up on his doorstep one evening.

He leaned down on one knee and placed the flowers down against the grave stone, along with a candle.  
He pulled out his lighter and lit the candle, before placing it on top.

He knew that his friends would want some sort of reminder that he was okay.

He smiled at the grave and ran his fingera long the rocky stone.  
"Hey you" He started. "It's been a while. 365 days to be exact. 365 days since I've been in Lima, actually. I know that if you were here right now, you would probably be yelling at me, telling me that I shouldn't be so distant with everyone, but it's hard, you know? You were everything to me Rachel, I will never stop telling you that. See you next year. I love you" he said, kissing his hand and placing it on the grave one last time.

He heard the faint sound of squeaking wheels behing him, and he turned to see Erica pushing a stroller towards him.

She smiled sweetly at him.  
"Hey, I knew I'd find you here" she said."Do we really have to come all the way to Lima every year just for this?" she asked.

Puck smiled back.  
"Yes, and I won't stop until the day I die" he said seriously.

She nodded in understanding and pushed the strolled a few more centimetres forward.

He smiled adoringly and lifted the small brown haired baby out of the strolled and into his muscular arms.  
"Hello Rachel" he said softly.

She smiled back up at him. "Hi dada" she said.

Puck felt something tug at the inside of his chest, and he had to force back the lump in his throat.

As they walked away from the grave Puck took one last look behind him, sending one last final prayer.

He would do the exact same thing next year, and the year after, he would do it every year, until he couldn't anymore.

**This isn't the end.**


	13. The end

**Surprise?  
**  
Puck awoke to the scorching hot sun beating down on his back.

He slid his arm across the bed and expected to find Erica but instead he was met with the rough material of the bed sheets.  
That made him furrow his brows. Rough material? They had silk sheets.

He rolled over and ran a hand through his mohawk. Mohawk? He shaved it off a little while after Rachel passed.

He opened his eyes and felt his heart jump out of his chest.  
Finn was standing over him with a smirk on his face.

"I was wondering when you were going to get up" he said.

Puck sat up and opened his mouth a few times before closing it. He almost forgot what it was like to hear his best friends voice. It had been a long time since they saw eachother.

"Hudson, what the fuck are you doing here?" he asked through grit teeth.

Finn's eye brows met in the mittle.  
"What are you talking about? You told me to come over today" he said.

And that's when Puck noticed it. Finn was wearing the same Green Vest he wore almost everyday in highschool.  
"What the hell are you doing in New York?" he asked again, not sure of his voice.

Finn frowned.  
"Man, are you okay? Were not in New York, were in Lima" he said.

Puck froze. Lima? As in Lima Ohio.

He ran his hands over his face. Expecting to find the stubble indicating that he hadn't shaved for a week but instead his fingers crossed smooth skin.

He looked around and felt his heart drop into his stomach.  
The same football wallpaper that he had since he was in second grade was covering his walls. The picture of him, Rachel and Finn was still on his dresser.  
Everything was the same.

He jumped out of bed, pushing Finn out of the way and stopped infront of the mirror.

He felt his mouth drop open when he looked down and saw he still had his nipple ring in.  
He was shirtless, while wearing his favourite black jeans.

He didn't know what was going on.

He spun around the see Finn staring at him.  
"Dude what the hell is the matter with you?" he asked.

Puck tried to keep calm.  
"It just doesn't make any sense. Finn, I'm not 17 anymore. I'm married, I have a kid, I live in New York" he said, raising your voice.

Finn looked around awkwardly and nodded.  
"No, you're 17, go to Mckinley highschool and you're on the football team and in glee club." he said, then laughed. "All I know is lastnight after your party you told me  
and Rach to come over like every Saturday so we can-"

Puck's face drained colour.  
"Did..did you just say Rachel?" he whispered, scared of saying her name outloud.

Finn nodded his head slowly.  
"Yeah..I was going to pick her up on my way but I thought she'd get mad at me again and throw gold stickers at me like last time" he said shivering.

Puck felt a burst of emotions hit him.

Had this all been a dream? Had everything, all those years of pain and torture just been a stupid dream?

He didn't care. He didn't care that he had built a family or that he had moved on, none of it mattered anymore.

He threw on his grey sweatshirt, took one last look at Finn and bolted out the door.

He threw himself down the stairs and almost stopped to give his mom one quick hug.  
"I love you" he called, before he continued through the door.

If he had actually thought about it he probably would have just grabbed Finn's car, but instead he just kept running.

He ran so fast he could feel his heart beating out of his chest.  
With every step he took he could hear her voice. See her face, feel his hands against her.

He didn't stop until he turned onto her street.  
He saw the mid sized white house that contained her and her dads, and felt something squeeze at his chest.

What if this was a dream right now? And he was going to get her back, finally get her back and it would all just end up being a dream?  
He pinched his arm a few times, and nothing happened.

He considered going back, he tried to move but his feet just kept inching forward until he was walking up the driveway.

He could see the lights on inside the house and he felt some sort of relief, the day he came here when she was in the hospital had been the worst. It was like there was no life going on in the berry home.

He stood outfront of the door and ran his hands over his legs.  
He could do this.

He slowly braught his fist up to the door and knocked a few times.

He closed his eyes and waited for nothing to happen. Waited to hear Erica's voice telling him to get his ass out of bed.  
But instead her heard the small click of the lock and the creak of the door opening.

"Noah?" he opened his eyes to see Leroy Berry standing in the doorway.

He looked so happy, he was glowing. Just like the old Leroy.

He took one look at him before pushing past him. "I'm sorry mr. B but I need to see her".

He ran through the kitchen and into the livingroom knowing Rachel was probably watching Funny Girl.

Once he entered the room he felt his knees go weak.

There she was. Sitting on the green patterened couch, stuffing her face with her favourite fruits as she watched Barbra streissand belt out the final note of her song. She looked so beautiful. So healthy. Her eyes were shining just like they were the day he went to visit her in the hospital.

She looked up and that's when she noticed him.  
A light smile fell on her face.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

Just hearing her voice brought tears to his eyes.

Concern crossed Rachel's face and she jumped up and ran over to him.

He covered his face as he felt the tears run down his cheeks. How could this be happening? Rachel died. He had been there the day she died. He remembered how she looked all bruised and battered just like it was yesterday.

He felt her hands touch his and slowly lower them.

He glanced down and met her gaze. He saw that same love that he felt every single waking day for her.

He wanted to leap foward, bring her into his arms but he couldn't. He couldn't move, couldn't think.

"Why are you crying?" she asked, her voice soothing.

He leaned into her touch the second he felt her hand touch his tear stained face.

He tried to speak but he couldn't find the words.  
"Rachel, I.." the words slipped out of his mouth and he just lowered his head.

He felt her fingers meet his mohawk just like they had time and time again. He slowly massaged her fingers across his scalp.

He knew he needed to say something.

"I was going to come over in a few hours, you know" she said.

He nodded.  
"Rachel, I need to talk to you. This can't be happening. This isn't real. I'm dreaming. I'm going to wake up. This day has already happened, you're suppose to be in the hospital" he let out in a rush.

Rachel furrowed her brows.  
"Hospital? What are you talking about, I was at your house lastnight?" she asked, clearly confused.

Puck felt that same anger rise up in him that he felt with Finn.  
"You don't understand Rachel. I've been waiting for this day for years. I love you, Rachel. And I'm so scared, I'm just so.." the words left his mouth and he let out a frustrated growl.

He expected her to move away but she just stared at him.  
"What?" he asked.

"Noah" she breathed.

He closed his eyes and sighed. The way she said his name, it always calmed him.

"You said you loved me"

His eyes shot open.  
"What?" he asked.

A small smile slipped onto her face and she took a step forward, until they were face to face.  
"You said "I love you, Rachel"".

Puck looked at the ground and nodded.  
"I do, I always have".

She slowly slid her hand into his and tilted his chin down.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear those words come out of your mouth?" she asked.

Puck looked at her with curious eyes and felt his stomach swarm with butterflies.

Puck didn't realize what was happening until she tilted his chin once more and their lips met.

It wasn't like the chaste kiss they shared in the hospital before she died. It was breath taking. He had kissed many girls in his life but none had ever felt like this. Not even Erica. She tasted of the pepermint mouthwash she had in her bathroom. He felt electricity soar through him and his whole body shake. it was like nothing he had ever felt.

finally she pulled away and Puck wanted more. He needed to feel her against him again.

"I love you, too" she whispered.

Puck felt the same feeling he felt when she said it on the cd. He felt his hands clench at his sides and he let out a shaky breath.  
"You do?" he asked, his voice breaking.

She nodded.  
"I have no idea what you were talking about earlier, but I'm just going to let it go. If someday you want to tell me, then I will be ready to listen" she whispered.

He felt something spark inside of him and smile creep on his face.  
He realized that was the first time he had smiled today, it felt amazing.

He grabbed her chin and brought their lips together again. He could never get tired of this.

Puck didn't care about what happened before. He didn't care that he had made a family, left Lima. He didn't know if that had just been a dream, but he didn't care. He was with Rachel. He was with the girl he loved, and that was all that mattered.


	14. Chapter 14

For everyone asking..yes that was the last chapter, and yes Puck was just dreaming with the whole Rachel dying :p. So Rachel did not die.


End file.
